Narrowing this list down has been quite an adventure. The past year has been so incredibly full of important lessons and moments of clarity. I have days where I feel like I've got all of my ducks in a row, and I'm killing it as a mom, friend, wife, sister etc. And then there are other days where I never leave my house, and keeping the baby alive is the only goal of the day.
So honestly, the biggest lesson I have probably learned this year is; LET GO. Let go of all of the expectations that build up throughout the day about how you are supposed to be doing things. Let go of the self judgement and the feelings of not being good enough. Let go of the crippling need to control every little thing that happens (especially where the baby is concerned). Let go of the need to do everything myself so that it is 'done right'. Let go of the anxiety of doing things wrong for Ezmé. She will be fine if her routine is thrown off a little, or if she gags on a piece of food, or if we skip bath time once or twice. Just take a deep breath and let go a little.
The second important lesson I have learned this year is; ask for help when you need it. When we first brought Ezmé home I struggled horribly with anxiety and letting people come help me. Honestly, I didn't know how to ask for help because a lot of the time I didn't know what I needed. It was so overwhelming to realize that this tiny human was mine to raise and nurture and teach, that I could barely process what I needed to do outside of taking care of her. This anxiety made me hold on to controlling my environment to the point where I wouldn't ask anyone to help me do things because I needed them to be done a certain way. I've always been type A about the way things are cleaned and organized in my house, so this was a huge process for me, learning how to ask for help, allow the help to be given, and then to be okay with things being done differently than I would do them myself. Now, I'm finding it easier to ask for help because you start the realize that getting things done at all (like; laundry, dishes, cleaning the house, walking the dogs, going to the grocery store, everything) takes a damn village when you have a baby to take care of!
Thirdly, I have learned how important it is to appreciate and fully absorb each moment. Time goes so fast with babies. One minute they are a tiny little tree frog curled up on your chest, and the next minute they are crawling and laughing and playing. It is INSANE how easy it is to rush and miss these incredible moments, especially when you are multitasking which, let's be honest, we all do. The other day I was trying to get groceries out of the car and grab Ezmé, and get up all the stairs to our third floor apartment, when she put her head down on my shoulder and just snuggled in so tightly. You better believe I put down all of those bags in the middle of the parking lot, took off my backpack, and just gave her the biggest squeeze because I could tell she needed it and I did too. I'm trying to remember that I only have a certain amount of time to spend with her and love on her and make sure she knows that she is the most important thing in the world to me. I don't want her to think back and remember, my mom always kept the house spotless, or she brought all those groceries up in one go haha. All she cares about is spending time playing and reading and snuggling with her mama. And that is so important to remember. I read a quote today that said, 'you have a child forever, but you only have a baby for a year.'
Being grateful and in the moment is something that we all should focus on more. But I especially want to remember this lesson because the days may be long but the years are short, and I want to fill up my life with all of these little moments of happiness and love so that I can look back without regrets and know that I spent my time wisely enjoying my family.
What are the three most important lessons YOU have learned this year?
