g r a t i t u d e & a t t i t u d e

the beginning of july has come and gone, and with it, a wonderful week of revels with family and friends. we celebrated the marriage of Kevan & Rebekkah (J's sister and brother-in-law) with a week-long extravaganza of seafood, music, funny stories, and heartfelt thanks as these two wonderful families came together and it was such a beautiful experience to be a part of! 

my parents were also in town during the wedding week so i was finally able to show them around pensacola and give them a glimpse into out little life down here. the name of this post is 'gratitude & attitude' because sometimes it takes a big event, like a wedding, to realize how much the little things in life matter. showing small, everyday bits of gratitude for the people and things in your life makes a huge difference in how you feel and carry yourself.

one of the big things that has been bringing me down recently was my job as a nanny here in pensacola. i unfortunately let the poison of that job filter into other aspects of my life and make me miserable. i honestly don't know what i would have done without the support of my amazing friends and family as i struggled to get out of that contract. i allowed my entire being to lose its light and just coming home and making dinner after a day at work became a chore. however, with the encouragement of james, my beautiful friends, and my awesome family, i decided to quit my job (yikes!),get my real estate license in florida, and continue selling houses down here as well as in nc!

today was my first 'unemployed' day and i have to admit that although liberating, it was a little nerve-wracking to realize i don't currently have a job! luckily, through connections we've already made down here, i have a job lined up with a real estate firm as soon as i complete my 72 hour online course. whew! talk about a relief!! sometimes you have to suck it up and make a change, be it a change in scenery, job, or attitude, and in this case i changed a little bit of all three. its scary making huge life changing choices, but without change there is no room for growth :)

as i sit here reflecting on how crazy the last week was, i am struck by the enormous gratitude i feel for the love and encouragement of the people in our life. no matter what is going on in life, through the highs and lows, the happiness and the sadness, the worry and doubt, and all of the beautiful, messy moments in between nothing would hold any meaning without these kooky, sweet people we call our family and friends. i wish it didn't take a job change and a wedding for me to realize this but sometimes we all need a little kick in the ass, right? 

i am also thankful for the super great NEW friends we were able to make because of Kevan and Rebekkah's marriage. its so crazy to think about how much light there is in the world, and how many wonderful new people and experiences are out there, if we could only just change the lens we look through and have a more open and positive attitude. so, in the wake of a truly awesome fourth of july week, i am making a promise to myself and all of you, to be a more positive, optimistic, and encouraging person DESPITE the darkness in life. because lets be honest, we've all got it pretty darn good! and if something isn't gelling with your vision of how you want your life to be, CHANGE IT!! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, just jump off that metaphorical cliff and take life by the horns! 

i hope that all of you had a great week! and if ever you feel some part of your life is not going in the right direction, remember that its never too late to change it. tell the people in your life that you love them, help a stranger, laugh A LOT, ask people how they are and CARE about the answer, and never ever ever settle for something less than absolute happiness!

<3 E
p.s James, im also thankful for the vacuum...those stairs would have been nightmare without it ;)

(this last photo was taken by Jerry Padgett Photography)

k i d k r u d

if you are a parent, teacher, or in my case a nanny, then you are most certainly familiar with what i refer to as the 'kid krud'. its that nasty virus that school age kids get EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. it comes complete with runny nose, horrifying cough, sore throat, and body aches. and the best part is, you don't get a day off when you are a nanny and the kids are the ones who started the illness because they can't catch it back from you! its not like you can say 'stay away from me you sick child!' when i see one of my kids being all sick and pitiful i can't help but want to make them feel better...so long story short, i caught the 'kid krud'. wah wah

however, i did get about 24 hours of fun in this weekend before it hit me! we went out for sushi on friday night (or i did, J had a video game date) to celebrate our friends' flight suit friday. its crazy to think that James will be celebrating his in a few short weeks! then we spent the day at the pool, drinking gin & tonics, reading, and relaxing. 

saturday night we had people over for a BBQ. its nice to know that we are surrounded by so many great people. our tiny apartment was packed with fun friends, good food, and lots of noise. we had to call it a night early because J had some studying to do for his exam, but it was a good time :) also i needed to chug about 4 bottles of nyquil. 0_o

today was the first day of summer for the kids i nanny for so my days will be beginning at the crack of 8:00am for the next couple of months. the camp schedule for these 3 is insane, and i spent most of the day running them to and from their activities while trying to get laundry done in between. we did manage to watch Mockingjay, play 3 rounds of checkers, take the dogs to the dog park, and make crepes today though which is pretty good for four sick people haha. hopefully in the days to come everyone will start feeling better so we can go to the beach!

oh! and for all of my durhamites, i will be back in town this sunday until wednesday morning for the Taylor Swift concert and to visit my family. sooooo, if you wanna get a drink or catch up, you know how to reach me! i promise not to breathe on you...

m e m o r i a l d a y

this weekend James and I dropped the dogs off at the boarder (for the first time), drove the 8 hours up to Charlotte NC, and spent the weekend with his family celebrating the life of his late uncle. it was a beautiful weekend and so much fun to see everyone, especially J's aunt who has been super kind and helpful to us during our move! if it weren't for her we wouldn't even have a couch right now!

once we got the drive over with, the weekend was full of laughs, good food, remembrances, and family. you know how they say, 'you don't just date the person, you date their family'? well, i am very lucky that james's family is so awesome and welcoming.

we didn't get a chance to see my parents but I'm super stoked because I'm flying up there at the beginning of june to go to the T-Swift concert with them and my sister wooooo!!! 

its weird how easy it is to get wrapped up in life and every day things when you move away, and i can see how quickly falling out of touch can occur. it makes me so sad and i want to make sure i do a better job of staying in touch with everyone. just yesterday, someone (cough cough TEMPE, my sister) wrote on my wall something snarky about remembering she existed and i was completely shocked to realize i hadn't talked to her in like a week!! what did i do last week? was i busy? did i not have a free second to call? honestly, i can't remember what i had for breakfast so who knows. but it made me think, i need to be much more proactive about communicating with my people back in NC. 

And yes, Der if you are reading this, i do remember you and you are awesome and I'm going to make you wear flower crowns with me to the Taylor Swift concert. kthanksbyeeee, #loveyoumeanit

on a separate note; HOW IS IT ALMOST JUNE?!?!

i really can not understand why time is moving so quickly. it seems crazy that 2015 is almost halfway over! we have been lucky to meet so many wonderful people down here and make some truly amazing friends, but its really crazy to think about how short our time will be in pensacola. and once flight school is over, everyone will be scattered across the world to different duty stations. but, thats the name of the game. at least there are endless opportunities to make new friends and hopefully run into old ones. and having friends all over the globe definitely has its perks!

for now though, we are just trucking right along :) James is in the midst of API so he is studying like a mad man 24/7 and flying through his material (pun intended). i am about to start working double time since the kids get out of school this week. and hopefully on the weekends we will get a little bit of spare time to relax, grill out, and enjoy the beach. 

its going to be a great summer with lots of fun things happening! we've got weddings to attend, new babies to meet, family and friends to party with, and lots of things to be thankful for. 

its looking like summer 2015 is going to be one for the books...

I M B A C K!!!

i have been a huge slacker with the blog these last few weeks, and truly there is no excuse other than: because life. on that note however, here are some pictures from the past few weeks to catch everyone up! 

we have been crazy busy down here in pensacola. i started my new job working as a nanny for a family of five and they are great. J has been busy studying and finished IFS within 2.5 weeks. he is doing amazing and even had his first solo flight. 

we have been spending time with great friends, getting to know the city, hanging out on the beach, and settling in to this new life :)

yesterday we went with some friends down to Destin to check out the outlets and go to the beach. the water down here is SO blue and the sand is a shade of white we just don't have in NC. its really beautiful!

for the next couple of days, even though i will be working, we are going to enjoy ourselves because J starts API this week and once that starts things will really pick up and get busy. so for now...its all about that brunch & beach ;)

b u l l c i t y b u c k e t l i s t

since i officially move down to pensacola for good in one short week to be with my sweet bf and start my new job, i have decided to make a bull city bucket list of all my favorite things to do in durham before i go!

so here it goes...most of these will probably be food and alcohol related so don't judge me! a cleanse will definitely be necessary after this list is completed...

1. go to a durham bulls game
2. have a picnic at duke gardens
3. a typical yet amazing cocoa cinnamon/farmers market morning
4. bar crawl to all my favs on main street (fed, joyce, alivias, bull mccabes, criterion, beyu, counting house, & bar virgile)
5. tapas night: mateo, juju, taberna
6. spa day with my mama and der (sister obvs)
7. ride the bull at shooters with my ladies...HEY! I SAID NO JUDGEMENT!
8. final beauty prep for the summer with my favorite, go-to durham estheticians (its so hard to find a good waxer these days, le sigh)
9. make sure i spend as much time as possible with my friends and family just hanging out, walking the booty loop, sun bathing at the pool, etc...
10. find an awesome DURHAM bumper sticker so wherever i go, people will know my heart is in the bull city <3

I'm sure I'm forgetting a hundred things, but this list is making me hungry and i simply can't think on an empty stomach ;)

on that note HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS!!!

it has been a long week, and unfortunately this weekend will be even longer with work and continuing ed, but at least the sun will be coming out and i will be done with this horrible class after sunday. then, the real fun can begin and i will be able to go out with a bang (like my sweet, little buddy here haha)

And Durhamites!! Let me know if i've forgotten something obvious for my bucket list :)

l i t t l e t e a c h e r s

today my sweet baby Dillon is six months old! it has been amazing nannying for him for the last 4 months in addition to the rest of my kiddos. there is something really special about spending so much time with children. i feel like it helps to keep things in perspective, especially when you're having a bad day. it is so easy to let yourself fall into a funk for silly reasons like; having to get up early, having car trouble, paying your taxes as an independent contractor cough cough. but it is equally easy to sit down, take a deep breath, and think about how much worse it could be and how easy it is to turn your day around. 

these tiny stresses don't mean a damn thing to a 6 month old, or a four year old, or even a ten year old. they are worried about things like sharing, and which book to read, and why these creepy crawly inch worms are everywhere this time of year?? (but really, whats up with these worms??) to us, adults, these things probably sound silly. but when you really think about it, which is sillier? being upset because you had to wake up early and hang out with kids outside, or being upset because you are a tiny person learning how to navigate this huge world and share your favorite toy? 

its also so easy to make these little people happy! if you take the time to sit down and ask them why they are upset, and explain how to make it better, most of time these kids can pull it together and do a complete 180. i want to be more like that. the vast majority of the time i am a super happy and optimistic person. but everyone gets into a funk now and then, and when that happens to me i think about how lucky i am to get to spend my days teaching and learning in this ridiculously cool give-and-take with my kiddos. 

some people may look down on being a nanny as a career choice, especially when i have been in the position to take over a very lucrative family real estate business. but money isn't everything, and being happy with what you do as a career is hard to come by these days. i probably won't be a nanny forever, as a millennial i find the idea of having one career boring. i have so many things that i want to do with my life! i want to go to grad school, write a book, get certified to teach yoga, travel a million different places, learn to cook! every day i think of something new that i want to accomplish in my life. and i honestly think a lot of that can be credited to hanging out with these amazing little people all day. their worlds are so full of possibility and unlimited choices, and i think that we lose that when we grow up but we don't have to!

so, on this cloudy disgusting wednesday, as i sit here waiting for my sweet baby nugget to wake up from his nap, i am reminded that every day is what you make it and there are no limits to what you can do with a bit of creativity, a positive outlook, and an unwavering sense of adventure :)

f l o r i d a l i f e

wow, its been a long time since I've written anything here. but thats definitely not for lack of reasons to! the move has gone very smoothly. we have managed to get settled, explore a bit, and make some new friends. i still get lost every time i leave the house but thankfully I've finally learned most of the main roads. 

learning how to live with someone in a shared space has been easy for us since we've lived together for longer periods during j's time at TBS. the hard part has been adjusting to our schedules and learning how to communicate in a normal way now that he isn't in the field all the time! and to be honest, its a great problem to have because it means we get to see each other so much. 

for me personally, the most difficult thing has been accepting the fact that i will have to put myself out there in an unfamiliar place and meet new people. we've spent some time with j's friends and their significant others which has been great! everyone is super nice and they know from experience the things i am going through. last weekend a big group of us went out in downtown pensacola which was awesome. i was surprised at how fun the bars were! and with the exception of a slight alcohol induced bout of hysteria on my part, the night was a blast. we were also FINALLY able to go to the beach! it was beautiful. white sand, blue water, and sunshine!!

i was supposed to head home yesterday morning but decided to extend my trip through the weekend in order to lock down a job I've been chasing while down here. I'm excited to say that i think at this point it is in the bag. such a relief! i have to admit that i was terrified at the thought of being down here with nothing to do. i don't want to only be a marine girlfriend. thats not who i am. or its not the ONLY thing i am. I've grown up being a very independent, educated, and motivated person and its easy for people in military communities to box significant others in and assume the worst about them. its kind of sad. but i refuse to be one of those people!

james and i are planning on getting our scuba certifications when i get back down here in may which i am SO excited about. especially since there are so many coastal and marine archaeological sites down here! we even found out that the local colleges offer classes that i may be able to take that will add some credits to my grad school count :) 

in addition to working full time, going to the beach, (hopefully) taking some classes, learning the area, and trying to find a place to volunteer i am feeling much better about my schedule. the only time things get hard is when i have nothing to do, so staying busy, getting out and doing new things, and meeting new people will not only be my biggest challenge but my salvation here. i think that this is the beginning of an amazing adventure and i can't wait to see how we grow as a couple and as individuals on this journey :)

l o o o o n g d a y

today was ridiculously stressful. i think everything is starting to catch up with me. organizing this move, working as a full time (overtime) nanny, continuing to sell real estate (which means working weekends), wrapping up utilities and insurances for the move, packing up the house, everyday life things like walking the dogs and maintaining relationships, all while living in a completely packed up house with no internet or COFFEE. 

i feel guilty ranting about something as silly as being a little stressed over a move that i am choosing to make at a time i choose to make it, but that being said, i am having a moment of weakness and ranting anyway. 

here it goes...stop reading now if you don't like rants...

today i was supposed to sleep in and then, after meeting some friends for coffee, have a leisurely day of packing, picking up the truck and getting a few loose ends tied up. but nooooo, of course i wake up at the ass crack of 5:00am. wide awake. because i am unable to stop running over my to-do list in my head. so, i get up and take the dogs for a walk while i wait for the sun to come up. of course, without my usual gallon of coffee before the sun rises, i am in a completely confused state of panic as to what i should be doing. i proceed to randomly wrap dishes in newspaper and put them into boxes, totally forgetting that newspaper makes your hands and everything they touch black. 

after getting a few final boxes packed up, i start getting ready to meet molly for coffee and just happen to look in the mirror on my way out and see that my face is covered in black streaks. so typical. i considered going out anyways and just pretending i didn't look like i had attempted to put on grey eyeshadow on in the dark, but decided that (at this point in the day..) i had more pride than that. i quickly washed my face and was heading out the door again when i remembered i was supposed to meet my aunt in greensboro for lunch. aaaand i looked like a troll. at this point i was already pushing it for coffee so i scrambled to get my makeup on and change clothes and managed to only be late for molly by about 15 minutes. 

thankfully, i got a skim mocha with 5 espresso shots and was able to catch up with my best friend, which is always amazing. but it was a short hour and chaos was impatient to resume its torture...

i quickly drove to the office because i realized i had a due diligence check to drop off for a client and only about 20 minutes to do so. i got to the office, jammed the printer, realized i needed to also print off a lease for my apartment that I'm subletting, printed it off, forgot it in the printer, and got nothing done because at this point my mom shows up and we have to leave for the 45 minute drive to greensboro. we decide to take my car so that on the the way back i can stop in mebane to weigh it while it is empty (so the government will reimburse us for this move since it is for the military). 

at this point i am feeling good, my caffeine has kicked in and i am at the place where nothing can stop me because...coffee. lunch is wonderful and catching up with my aunt is great. i think I'm sensing a trend here...food = happy haha.

on our way back we stop at the truck weigh station and pull onto the scales only to realize that i am too short by about 3 feet to reach the call button. i try jumping. i try running and jumping. i back the car up, reposition and try to stand on it to reach the damn button. finally i jump off of the car and manage to hit it. except the woman inside is busy with another customer so its not until the 4th time i jump off that i get a response. by the way, I'm wearing heels and it is pouring rain. 

we get the ticket and head back home. then i have a lovely 15 minute 'nap', feed the dogs and then run to my parents house so we can go pick up the penske truck in the opposite direction. of course it is 4:15 at this point and traffic is a nightmare going towards raleigh. after another 45 minute drive we get to the rental place and manage to secure the 26 foot truck. thankfully, my dad decides he should drive so i get to sit back and enjoy the stop and go traffic ride back to the weigh station (which is now an hour away). 

we weigh the truck, drive back, and with the help of my amazing neighbors park it in front of my house. whew!

then i change clothes, eat a grapefruit and run to work, because on thursdays i take care of my four awesome gerend kiddos. its a crazy day indeed when the most relaxing part is reading bedtime stories and wrangling four kids under the age of 10 into bed. but it was.

as i sit here on their couch writing this ridiculous saga, while all four of those quirky, sweet kids are asleep upstairs, it seems silly that this one day was so stressful. and i have to admit that it could have been a lot worse. its nice to purge this whole day out of my mind by writing about it, but also, looking back, i am so grateful and lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life who are willing to drop everything and help me through this move. its going to be so hard to leave them all in durham, but i know that this will always be my true home, and coming back will be that much sweeter :)

i have never been this excited to get into my bed and sleep.

tomorrow will be easier.

and after this weekend the move will be done. 

sweet dreams!

Zzzzzz....

t a s t e o f s u m m e r

the past couple of days have been absolutely beautiful! warm bright sunshine, clear blue skies...i even heard crickets the other evening! baby D and i spent the day walking around durham, hanging out on east campus, and soaking up this amazing sun. needless to say, my motivation to get those last couple of boxes packed up has been lacking. 

I've been really slacking on keeping up with the blog recently too because, although i haven't packed random things like dishes yet, i did manage to get a little over-exuberant and pack up the modem for my internet. typical. so I've been mooching on my neighbors wifi by standing in weird places and trying to follow the signal. hopefully no one has been watching in my windows because I'm sure i look like a complete nut job. also typical. 

luckily, today is my last day of work for this week so i will be able to focus these last two days before the move. it is bittersweet though because i won't see my sweet little chunk for two whole weeks since i will be in florida getting our new place situated. but it will be amazing to finally see james and start building this next phase of our life together. it also doesn't hurt that the weather is already hot and awesome in florida. i can't wait to check out the beaches and explore the area.

I've also set up several great job interviews for this trip to pensacola and hopefully i will find something that works out. since i will be maintaining my real estate license in north carolina, i figured i would just try to find a great nannying gig to keep me busy and make some extra money. who wouldn't want to run around the beach with kids all day? sounds pretty great to me!

on a less fun but still exciting note, tomorrow evening my dad and i are going to pick up the moving truck and take it to get weighed before we begin the harrowing task of filling it up with all of our junk. I'm praying that the rain holds off so we can move everything without having to deal with inclement weather but you know what they say...when it rains it pours. 

guess we will just see how this plays out! I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst so how bad can it be?

s o m u c h c o f f e e

today was uneventful with the exception that, like every thursday, I take care of children for over 11 hours. during the day I'm with one family and at night another. don't get me wrong, i love my job! who wouldn't want to hang out with kids all day, read books, play dress up, do ridiculous impressions, and basically act like a fool for a living? but, id be lying if i said i wasn't ready to crawl into bed right about now. in case anyone is on the fence about having a child, i suggest caring for someone else's kid for a day. its amazing birth control. but also reaffirms my belief that one day ill be a pretty badass mom. 

one of my favorite parts about being a nanny is hearing the hilarious things my kiddos say. they are seriously funny little people! for example: tonight i told the kids to go up and get ready for bed (brush teeth, get p.j's on etc...). all of the sudden a hear loud mexican singing and shakers coming down the stairs. when i walk to the base of the stairs i see one of the kids wearing a sombrero, sunglasses, mismatched socks, a huge t-shirt, and a running medal. he is shaking maracas and dancing down the stairs with no pants on. freaking hilarious. i couldn't even be mad at him for not listening because it was so funny. he did a lap around the kitchen and went back upstairs. a few seconds later i hear a yell, and then 'emilieeeeeee!' of course my first thought is, oh great someone got hit in the head with a maraca. but no. jack proceeds to throw his green shirt downstairs at me yelling, 'can you wash this? i peed on it.' i could not make this up. its really nice to hang out with kids that talk back to me after being with a 4 month old all day...even if its about things like pee shirts.

I've been taking care of these four kiddos on and off for about 5 years and I'm going to miss them so much when i move. but i can't wait until they are old enough to cringe when i tell them all of the ridiculous stories about them when they were this age! i really hope i am able to find a family this great to work for in pensacola. i will continue to fly up to NC to do real estate every once in a while, but i know i want to continue working with kids. we're just on the same page mentally i guess.

on a completely separate note, i have officially perfected my bulletproof coffee recipe! the secret ingredient is brown sugar and a dab of vanilla. sooo yummy. if you haven't tried a version of bulletproof coffee i recommend trying it with your breakfast. be sure to use 'pastured' butter though, which means it comes from grass fed cows, because that is where the extra nutrients come in. i also prefer to include coconut oil and a splash of milk. and of course a side of frozen blueberries, just because. 

m e h

today was one of those days. it was already depressing because the house was too quiet, too clean, too empty without james here. but to top it off i had to have my car towed and shell out $700 to have the alternator replaced. then my dog threw up in my bed. and baby D was having one of those days where a nap was just not going to happen. then i spoke with james, who is now in florida, and he said our apartment isn't as great as the pictures made it seem (something i should have expected as a real estate agent) and that it was tiny.

talk about horrible timing! moving is already expensive & stressful, but it seems like murphy's law is in full swing around here these days. of course, in the grand scheme of things, these small issues are nothing. its all about how you handle it and your attitude towards things that come your way. did i bitch and moan about shitty luck today? yes. did i curse the automotive gods and swear to take revenge upon carmax? yes. but overall, there are far more things in my life to be thankful for and I'm basically over it now. not to mention, hearing my babes' voice before going to bed is always nice. and thankfully we both agree that we can work with our apartment situation. 

so here's to the week going up from here! tomorrow is supposed to be 70 degrees and sunny, i am working with some amazing real estate clients right now, and I've got far too much on my plate with this move to feel sorry for myself. aaaand my young living essential oil kit is supposed to be here tomorrow woooo! bring it on hump day!

t h a w

it was so hard to wake up this morning knowing that it was only 17 degrees outside and soooo snuggly warm in my bed. but this little nugget can't babysit himself! luckily we were able to sit by the fire and read books all morning to stay warm. we put the 'chill jazz' station on and sipped on peppermint tea (or a bottle in Dillon's case...) and relaxed. however, i was beginning to get cabin fever with all of this cold weather! a girl can only sit inside and do nothing for so long. we decided to brave the cold and go for a walk to our favorite cafe for a little mid-day snack and some fresh air. our faces almost froze off but it was a beautiful, clear day and definitely worth the momentary cold shock. not to mention, little dude has the warmest snowsuit known to mankind! they should make those in adult sizes...

b o o k s & b a b i e s

this morning, despite the frosty weather and icy roads, i got to go back into work to see my little bub. its hard to consider being a nanny 'work' when i get to snuggle those sweet cheeks all day long. unfortunately my little guy has a cold so he's not feeling so hot. but we will spend the day reading books, resting, and doing some tummy time so nothing too strenuous ;) 

on a separate note, I'm halfway through my most recent mass book store purchase. The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History was amazing and insightful. I loved being able to go back to my college anthropology days and read about something that truly interests me on an intellectual level. I definitely recommend this book to everyone. we only have one world and everyone should be interested in what changes we are causing as humans and how we can improve upon our time here. Unbroken was absolutely heart-wrenching. i had to repeatedly put the book down and take a break simply because it was so emotional and I'm a pansy. it also may have struck too close to home since my boyfriend has a flight contract. but all of that aside, it was well written, straightforward, engaging, and an all around wonderful story of hope, perseverance, and brotherhood. long story short, you should read it.