Blogtober Day 8!

What are three lessons you have learned in the last year?

Narrowing this list down has been quite an adventure. The past year has been so incredibly full of important lessons and moments of clarity. I have days where I feel like I've got all of my ducks in a row, and I'm killing it as a mom, friend, wife, sister etc. And then there are other days where I never leave my house, and keeping the baby alive is the only goal of the day.

So honestly, the biggest lesson I have probably learned this year is; LET GO. Let go of all of the expectations that build up throughout the day about how you are supposed to be doing things. Let go of the self judgement and the feelings of not being good enough. Let go of the crippling need to control every little thing that happens (especially where the baby is concerned). Let go of the need to do everything myself so that it is 'done right'. Let go of the anxiety of doing things wrong for Ezmé. She will be fine if her routine is thrown off a little, or if she gags on a piece of food, or if we skip bath time once or twice. Just take a deep breath and let go a little.

The second important lesson I have learned this year is; ask for help when you need it. When we first brought Ezmé home I struggled horribly with anxiety and letting people come help me. Honestly, I didn't know how to ask for help because a lot of the time I didn't know what I needed. It was so overwhelming to realize that this tiny human was mine to raise and nurture and teach, that I could barely process what I needed to do outside of taking care of her. This anxiety made me hold on to controlling my environment to the point where I wouldn't ask anyone to help me do things because I needed them to be done a certain way. I've always been type A about the way things are cleaned and organized in my house, so this was a huge process for me, learning how to ask for help, allow the help to be given, and then to be okay with things being done differently than I would do them myself. Now, I'm finding it easier to ask for help because you start the realize that getting things done at all (like; laundry, dishes, cleaning the house, walking the dogs, going to the grocery store, everything) takes a damn village when you have a baby to take care of!

Thirdly, I have learned how important it is to appreciate and fully absorb each moment. Time goes so fast with babies. One minute they are a tiny little tree frog curled up on your chest, and the next minute they are crawling and laughing and playing. It is INSANE how easy it is to rush and miss these incredible moments, especially when you are multitasking which, let's be honest, we all do. The other day I was trying to get groceries out of the car and grab Ezmé, and get up all the stairs to our third floor apartment, when she put her head down on my shoulder and just snuggled in so tightly. You better believe I put down all of those bags in the middle of the parking lot, took off my backpack, and just gave her the biggest squeeze because I could tell she needed it and I did too. I'm trying to remember that I only have a certain amount of time to spend with her and love on her and make sure she knows that she is the most important thing in the world to me. I don't want her to think back and remember, my mom always kept the house spotless, or she brought all those groceries up in one go haha. All she cares about is spending time playing and reading and snuggling with her mama. And that is so important to remember. I read a quote today that said, 'you have a child forever, but you only have a baby for a year.'

Being grateful and in the moment is something that we all should focus on more. But I especially want to remember this lesson because the days may be long but the years are short, and I want to fill up my life with all of these little moments of happiness and love so that I can look back without regrets and know that I spent my time wisely enjoying my family.

What are the three most important lessons YOU have learned this year?

Reunited: Weekend Wishes

We are finally over our first deployment hump! Picking J up and bringing him home was honestly one of the best feelings ever. Even though this one was only a few months long, it was very weird being away from him and not being able to communicate freely. Not that we haven't had a decent bit of practice in our relationship with being long distance. The limited communication however, really made things much harder.

But now that he is back, just in time for all of the fun holidays, I am ready to fully embrace the season and enjoy our time together. If there's one thing deployment teaches you, it is that the little things truly are the "big things" when you look at the grand scheme of your life. Being able to cook dinner together after going to the gym, watching Netflix, taking day trips to the beach on the weekend, even just walking the dogs together at night. These are the little moments that matter.

I feel so much gratitude for everything in our life right now, and many of those things are just that, THINGS. But the living things, the people and furry friends in our lives, are the things that don't change despite the ups and downs. Surrounding yourself with a good tribe of people who support you, and root for your success make any challenge possible.

The wonderful group of women in this squadron made my first deployment experience absolutely great. While nothing compares to having your partner home, being surrounded by kind, compassionate, hilarious, intelligent people (who are in the same boat) definitely takes the edge off! Facetime is also a wonderful thing! Getting to talk to my family back home each day and update them on everything made this time so much easier <3

It was especially nice to have that support as a first time mom to be. On top of the emotional roller coaster that deployments cause on their own, having to ride the pregnancy crazy train added a whole separate level of angst to this experience (0/10 do not recommend). But being around other people who have gone through the same thing or who were currently going through the same situation almost completely eliminated that sense of loneliness. I am so thankful for all of the Tiger spouses!

Now that J is back, we are enjoying the last few months of that no-kid life! Doing a little bit of last minute traveling, enjoying the peace and quiet, and sleeping late on weekends. Taking advantage of the freedom that is allowed us right now and getting ready for our little girl to make her way earth-side in the new year. J finally got to feel her kick and see her wiggling around which was fun, because its definitely hard to explain via email! Maybe now that he is back we will start getting the nursery organized, but knowing us, we will wait until the last minute on that one...oh well!

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Remember to take a little bit of extra time to appreciate the special people in your life! Give them an extra hug or just take the time to really be in the moment with them, intentionally.

Happy Saturday from Oki!
Em

The Shortest Month

February has blown by just as quickly as I thought it would. I turned 29 this month which is absurd because I still feel like I'm about 19...until I try to go on a bender and then it quickly becomes clear to me that I'm waaaay closer to 30 than 20! It is so surreal how quickly time flies.

When I think back to college and where I thought I'd be in my life right now, its honestly shocking to me how things turned out. I definitely did not think I would be married to a Marine. Or living in Japan. Or working as a yoga instructor instead of a Realtor! So many things have happened that I didn't expect. It's funny how life works isn't it?

And the craziest thing of all is looking back and realizing how many tiny, quotidian instances and decisions lead to this very moment! The person you are today has been a process, millions of thoughts and emotions turned into actions and words. An infinite number of choices could have been made, but each specific one you CHOSE has lead you to now. 

It's so incredible to me how interwoven our lives are, and how easily things could have been completely different (The Chaos Theory and all that). I just feel so incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by such wonderful role models my whole life. I know for a fact that I would not be the person I am today if it hadn't been for my parents, family, friends, even chance encounters with strangers. 

I feel like as I get older, I am more easily able to step outside of myself and try to see the bigger picture. I've learned some pretty great life lessons in my 29 years and I'm definitely not claiming to know it all but here are just a few things that I wish I could tell my 19 year old self...

Always, always be kind, to everyone, even if you don't feel like it.

Try to get to know people who are different from you, you'll be better for it.

Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words.

Don't care so much about what other people think.

Don't ever let your happiness depend on someone else.

Above all always be truthful and genuine, especially to yourself.

You don't have to say everything you think out loud. 

It's okay to say 'no'. 

It is sometimes better to ask for forgiveness, than for permission. 

Start building your credit history!

You will never regret going out of your way to help another.

Focus more on the NOW.

Keep spending time with your family, you wont regret it!

Never settle for something just because it is easy.

It is okay to be alone. In fact your relationship with yourself is the most important.

One day the little things will be the big things, and the big things will be the little things.

Try to meditate for a little while every day. 

Keep reading everything you can get your hands on.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. (-E.R)

Always speak out when you witness injustices, even if its uncomfortable. 

It's okay to FEEL sad or angry or upset, but remember that YOU are not your emotions. 

Your thoughts become your words and deeds.

There are so many things that I have learned about myself and life in the last 10 years. I have made a lot of mistakes, done my fair share of stupid things, and eaten my words more than once, but ultimately I think it all worked out okay! 

What do you wish you could tell your younger self? 

Em

P.S 

Here is my Pinterest board for motivational words of wisdom!

https://www.pinterest.com/ememismeme/more-than-words/

January 2018 Update

It's already the end of January and the theme of this month for me has been: creating routine. It's always difficult after one of these big PCS moves to orient yourself and find a place in your new home. And honestly this overseas move has been much like the others, just with the added factors of being in a foreign country and not being close to family and friends. Overall though, the process has been much the same.

The first couple of months are all about getting your physical place, your home, situated. It's about J getting settled into his new squadron, finding the nearest grocery store, learning how to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road, meeting new friends, finding your new favorite restaurants, you know finding your place literally.

But as we came into the new year, I found myself struggling to find space mentally. The holidays were over, we were done settling in physically, and now all of the sudden it's time to make space mentally and realize that this is going to be our home for the next few years. Since J and I started dating, we haven't lived in one place for more than a year, so it's difficult for me to get my head around actually living in one place for 3-4 years. AND of course it doesn't help that our new place is on the exact opposite side of the world from home.

Home. A word I've been struggling to redefine since this move. A word that means so much more than a building, or a city. Home is where your people are. It's where your heart is. But what do you do when your heart is in a bunch of different places? Obviously my heart is with my hubby and our little family unit here in Japan. But pieces are also with my family and friends back in the states.

Creating space mentally to accept and thrive in this new place and taking the time to create a feeling of home internally is the next step. The easy part is done. Our dishes and linens are put away. The boxes are unpacked, broken down and thrown out (on the porch, but still). I no longer have to use google maps to get everywhere. We have a favorite ramen joint, and I have a yoga class I like to go to. Now, it's time to take that routine and use it to thrive.

February is going to be a month of growth. If January's theme was Routine, the foundation of our life here, then February will be about putting up some walls (in a good way!) I want to spend time this coming month really creating a life that we love out of this routine. It's been quite rainy and cold here for the last couple of weeks but I'm hoping that this next month will begin to warm up so I can get outside and do some more exploring and traveling.

Here's to Spring in Okinawa!

Memorial Day Thoughts

I woke up this morning after a wonderful couple of days at the lake with friends. We grilled out, went swimming, played games, and drank lots of beer. You know, what Americans do on Memorial Day weekend. But when I got out of bed I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried taking a shower, doing some yoga, walking the dogs, but nothing I did helped me shake this feeling of anxiety and sadness.

And then I remembered that I read an article before going to bed which was written by the spouse of a Marine who was killed in action. She wrote about how it affected her when people wished her a 'Happy Memorial Day'. About how she felt seeing all of the Facebook posts of people celebrating with BBQ, and fireworks, and water-sports. Today, holds a very different meaning for those who have lost a loved one who died for this country. A meaning that can be hard to grasp because of the divide between military and civilian life.

I guess this article hit me a little harder than I initially thought. But I am one of those Americans who has been guilty of not understanding what this day is really about. Since becoming a Marine wife I have grown to have a better understanding of some things that civilians never have to think about (whether I like it or not), and Memorial Day is one of those things.

Today is a day for ALL Americans to stop and appreciate how huge these seemingly small, heroic actions are that have shaped our country. How each and every man and woman who has died in service to our country has made it possible for us to have all of the everyday rights and freedoms that we are so fortunate to take advantage of. I didn't understand what today was about until I married into the Marine Corps because I was never around many service members.  But I am thankful for having this bittersweet understanding now because the older I get, the more I realize how unique and amazing our country is. Sure, we have ups and downs politically and socially, but we have people who are willing to die to protect our rights as Americans. We have people who are willing to continue putting their lives at risk so we can have the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedom of press, the freedom of assembly. Because of these men and women, every single American has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Memorial Day is just one day a year where everyone is expected to take the time to truly grasp and comprehend this monumental sacrifice. But the loved ones left behind when these fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, lose their lives for this country experience Memorial Day every single day of the year.

I think that we all need to do better, we need to be better in honor of this sacrifice. We need to be better Americans, better neighbors, better people. We need to realize that we all want the same things in life. We want to happy, we want our families to be safe, and we want to live our lives fully. We are all more similar than we are different. The Americans who put their lives on the line to make this possible deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated every day. And in my opinion the best way we can all honor that sacrifice is to be better people.

In times like these where it seems like the world (and more specifically, our country) is divided by words like 'us' and 'them', 'democrat' and 'republican', 'violence', 'hate crime' etc...we need to remember that there will always be people who put everything on hold to ensure that we have the opportunity to grow and become stronger, more united, and better as a country.

5 Things

As some of you know, I am participating in the Jenna Kutcher Instagram challenge which is geared towards streamlining your online presence and cultivating genuine participation within the blogging community. It has been an incredible experience to 'meet' and learn about so many different bloggers from all over the world and their brands! I think we are all aware that social media can be a double edged sword especially when it comes to appreciating and living in the real world in real time without having to whip out our phones every two seconds. This challenge encourages everyone to be their true, genuine, authentic self on social media instead of putting a filter on your life, and embrace others for doing the same. Sure, we all like looking at pretty pictures of tiny puppies in teacups surrounded by a sea of peonies, or a skinny tanned girl doing yoga on a beach in Hawaii while she drinks a gluten free piña colada and the sun sets majestically in the background. BUT! Where is the connection there? Where is the personality, and the depth, and the humanity for the love of god!?!?

I know that I follow a lot of those accounts on Instagram, but for the most part those accounts are what I call 'scrollers' because I look at them and scroll right on by without reading their post or clicking the links or caring what is happening at all. They are JUST pretty pictures. But my favorite accounts, the blogs I've been following for years, are the people who are so genuine in their online presence that you can't help but be like, 'yes! I have felt that same way!'. They are the bloggers who let you know that they are having a bad day because they had to deal with 5 diaper explosions while shopping in Target. They are the ones who are chugging wine while discussing what happened on the Bachelor. They are interested in traveling, learning, bettering our world, and also just going to the grocery store, finding a good deal on Lululemon, and encouraging others to be themselves too.

The disconnect our world faces right now between our online presence and real life is crazy! People feel more isolated and unhappy than ever and it's because we have gotten so far away from reality, or maybe we have just changed what 'reality' means. Regardless, I am trying to be more mindful of living in each moment and using my social media presence as a catalyst for expanding upon that real world experience.

So, now down to the nitty-gritty! Day 3 of the #jkinstachallenge was to pick five major facets of your self and share them on your account. This was tough because I feel like everyone has so many unique, and important things that make up who they are as a person. But when it comes down to it, these are the five, biggest parts of me that make me who I am...

1. Family: Obviously this was going to be number one because my family is amaaaazee! They have always been there for me through everything. Whether I was living around the corner or on the other side of the country. They have supported my harebrained ideas, loved me when I have failed, and encouraged me to be true to myself no matter what. My parents and sister have been my constant companions and without them I wouldn't be who I am today (sorry guys, if that sounds like an insult!)

2. My Marriage: It's always hard to imagine another person coming into your life and being on the same level as your immediate family. Meeting and marrying J has been such a learning curve. We initially met at an NCSU football tailgate during my sophomore year and his freshman year in college. And let me just say that if you told me then that we would end up married, I would have thought you were INSANE. Welp, turns out that I am the insane one because here we are! And I am so happy that we ran into each other that day, even if he doesn't remember! Our relationship has completely changed me on some levels and made me more steadfast to my roots on others. J and I are so different in some respects but so similar in others. We have learned how to work our partnership into every day life and continue to grow together every day. Entering into a marriage truly is a beautiful act of self sacrifice and love (I mean that in the best way!). I have had to learn to navigate the tricky waters of being a Marine wife while still GRACEFULLY holding true to my somewhat liberal roots. And I have had to embrace the lifestyle of moving every couple of years and being far away from everything that is familiar and important to me. Which leads me to...

3. Being a military spouse: this is a complicated one for me. Growing up in an area that is known for its acceptance, non-judgement, and down right artsy fartsy-ness (not a word, I know), I had never been around the culture of a military lifestyle. Durham NC is a small lake of blue in a big, red state if you know what I mean! I honestly thought everyone in our military had a crew cut, chewed tobacco, and was the complete opposite of me on the political spectrum. So you can imagine what a shock it was for me to be thrown into such a different environment, I'm not going to lie, I was down right scared. But, I was surprised at the immediate and genuine outpouring of help and friendship from this amazing group of people I had never met. You always hear about how the military is like a second family, but I did not even come to close to comprehending what that meant until I experienced it. This group of women is part of my soul now. Every station we go to, our military family grows. These women are some of the most compassionate, hilarious, REAL people I have ever met. Everyone is so different, and so strong in their own ways that I feel like a huge dum-dum for ever having thought of this group of people as being so one-dimensional (but that is what our 'bubbles' do to us). Anyway, I can proudly say that being a military spouse has made me a stronger, more independent, and self-confident person and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

4. Travel: As a homebody with a bad case of wanderlust I feel like I am constantly feeling this push-pull of wanting to nest and stay home, but also to travel and see the world and experience everything that is out there! I've been lucky to get to travel internationally several times in my life and my list of places to visit grows by the day. Each time I open a new book, or meet a new person, another place appears at the top of my list. I love the idea of being able to see the world but have a home-base to come back to. It's all about balance. Finding that perfect space between cultivating your home and growing as a person through seeing the world. And lastly (at least as far as the top 5 go)...

5. Yogaaaaa: This is a relatively new facet to my life, especially compared to some people who have been practicing yoga for decades! But it could also be labeled, spirituality on my list. Because you see, I did not understand what yoga actually was! I was one of those people who thought yoga was just asana, or the postures of yoga. I didn't realize that the postures were just a small part of what yoga actually is. I started my in-depth journey with yoga this past January in order to have a job when we move overseas this winter. I had no clue what I was getting into. It is like everything suddenly makes sense, like I was looking through a foggy window before and trying to figure out myself on a spiritual level but could never quite see through the glass. I have always identified as a spiritual person and loved learning about religion and cultural perception throughout school (anthro major, go figure) and have always felt that, if I'm being honest, all of the religions of the world are just different doors to the same room. So finding a spiritual practice that places everyone on an even playing field and is inclusive to all religions and sects and creeds felt like finding a little bit of light in what can be a very dark world :)

So, those are 5 of things that make me, me at my very core. What are your five things that make you, you?

Love and Light
Em

Wedding Thoughts: Vendors!!

I am super guilty of going into this whole wedding business completely blind, with very little concept of how much work actually goes into pulling off a shin-dig of this size. Thankfully, my mom did most of the legwork especially while I was out of the state with J for the first part of flight school.

But let me tell you...holy moly. The number of details and random things you don't even think about is astounding. However, if you are lucky enough to have wonderful vendors like I did, everything will go much smoother! I absolutely loved our wedding team. Everyone worked seamlessly together and I never once felt stressed about anything because I knew they had it under control.

Our Photographer: Jamie Blow
Jamie was a serious blessing! She was referred to us by a family friend whose daughter also used Jamie for her wedding and simply RAVED about her. I was blown away by Jamie's calm and collected personality and her ability to make everyone feel at ease immediately. She even kept our crazy bridal party in check and having a blast while taking photos outside in 40 degree weather! I never felt uncomfortable or silly while we were posing for pictures because Jamie knew exactly what would look good and not hokey. Jamie was also easy to get in touch with, super responsive, and very helpful in the months leading up to our wedding. She was efficient and quick and so great at capturing the love and laughter of our special day. I plan on using Jamie for all of our life events and couldn't recommend her more highly.



Our DJ: Randy Bennett with Bunn DJ Company
Randy was our awesome DJ. He covered everything from the ceremony, to the cocktail hour, to the reception and after party! Randy was very easy to talk to and work with and did an excellent job of creating playlists that fit our personalities. Several people of different ages came up to me after the wedding and remarked on how well he covered music for all generations. There was never a lull in the party and everyone was dancing until the very end of the night! I really enjoyed working with Randy because he was amazing at guiding us through the process of selecting songs and organizing the sound for the evening. He was also an awesome MC during the evening. He was organized and fun and easy going. Randy even provided us with an audio thumb drive of the whole ceremony and a playlist from the night!

Our Videographer: Elijah Nacita with Morgan Scott Films
I did not get a chance to meet Elijah until the day of the wedding. He and his partner (and wife!) came into our hotel suite and immediately put me and my bridesmaids at ease. They were quick and efficient when it came to taking video of us all getting ready and worked perfectly in tandem with Jamie to capture each special moment. I think one of the moments that really struck me with these guys was when they were capturing our first look. I was worried it would be awkward and feel fake but they told us exactly what to do and then blended into the background and it felt like it was just the two of us. Elijah spent the whole day with us from the first look to our sparkler exit and I am so excited to see our film! Everyone should definitely check out their website and watch their work, but don't forget tissues!!!

Our Cake Designer: Jenny Leinbach (Yellowbird Baking)
Jenny was our cake designer and baker! She was so fun to work with and her homemade frostings and cakes were absolutely delicious. I had such a great time trying all of the flavors and mixing and matching different tastes together. Jenny even mixed up a special baileys Irish cream filling for us that was to die for! If you are looking for a beautiful cake that tastes amazing and is from a local Durhamite, Jenny is perfect :)

Hair and Make-up: 140 Salon and Dry Bar 
About 3 months before the wedding I decided that our original salon was not going to work for the size of my bridal party. I was so worried that I had just completely screwed us all over but then I walked into 140 Salon and was immediately put at ease by the wonderful staff there. They set up a hair and make-up trial for me THAT WEEK and the rest is history. Jill, who is the bridal specialist, took the picture I brought her from my Instagram account and made it a reality within 40 minutes. She also did my make-up exactly how I wanted it with complete ease and confidence. She made sure my hair stayed up all night but didn't hurt my head. AND she made sure that my face was flawless but not cakey and overdone looking. I honestly wish I could have her come live with me and make me look like that everyday!! The other wonderful stylists at the salon were just as fabulous and each and every one of us walked out of there on time with gorgeous hair and makeup! Also, the prices were amazing for the level of work these guys did and the environment was absolutely perfect for a bridal party. Definitely recommend this salon for your special day!

Our Venue and Wedding Planner: Sarah Leach at Bay 7 (Angus Barn)
Sarah is the wedding coordinator for Angus Barn at Bay 7. She was the glue that held everything together. Her organization and calm attitude made the day flow seamlessly, but more importantly she was the one who organized everything with us in the months leading up to our wedding. Sarah kept up with me and my mom the whole time and made sure we knew what was happening every step of the way. She helped us organize the menu, layout, flow of the evening, ceremony and everything in between! I never worried about anything going wrong on our wedding day because I had complete confidence in Sarah's ability to make everything perfect :)

A lot goes into making the wedding of your dreams happen but the best advice I can give you is: gather your team of experts early in the process and work closely with them because they are the ones who work tirelessly behind the scenes to ensure that everything is perfect.

Can't wait to share our video and photos with you all as they come in!!
xo em

Wedding Thoughts: My Bridesmaids

Wedding weekend was a success! Everything went so smoothly and felt so completely organic, I honestly couldn't have asked for a better experience. There are so many emotions you go through on your wedding day, and it can be so difficult to stay in the moment and really feel whats happening but thanks to my wonderful bridesmaids, I never felt overwhelmed or anxious (in a bad way).

I keep trying to think back over everything that happened by my brain is completely foggy! My sister-in-law Maggie told me this morning that it will come back to me in a couple of days after I recover! All I know is that I felt surrounded by love and happiness the whole time.

A huge part of what made this weekend so special was having these amazing women with me. I have been very lucky in my life to always have wonderful girlfriends. There are few things more important to me than my support system of strong (independent haha), kind, intelligent, hilarious, and loyal women. These 8 ladies have been with me through ups and downs, highs and lows, thick and thin. I've known some of them my whole life, and some for only a few short years. But each one of them has been there for me countless times and contributed to who I am as a person. 

Getting to share my special day with you ladies was incredible. You reminded me to be calm and enjoy everything. I never felt worried about anything going wrong, and every time I started to get flustered you were there to smile encouragingly and hand me a large glass of alcohol! I love the imagery associated with how we line up and stand during the ceremony, because it is perfectly descriptive of how I always feel like you guys have my back and are standing there to support me and uphold me with your friendship. I can't wait to continue celebrating with all of you over the years as we grow and change <3

These are only a few of the pictures taken on our cell phones this weekend so get ready to be continuously bombarded over the next few days... #noshame

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

It's officially the last day of November, and I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. It's like the saying goes: the days are long, but the years are short! I for one am ready to have 2016 in the rearview mirror. Sure, some amazing things happened this year, but overall it was one for the birds (whatever that means, I don't remember any birds ever doing anything to deserve this negative attention, but there you have it). I'm just glad that we get to end this year the way we end every year, with the best season EVER!

There is something so wonderful about December. It is a time for things to slow down. A time for reflection and thanksgiving. It's a time, for lack of a better word, for peace. Not that we should need a season to be peaceful, but it always feels like everyone gets to take a deep breath around the holidays. We get a chance to stop and remind ourselves what truly matters in this life. Our loved ones, being charitable and kind to our neighbors, takin the time to appreciate the little things in life because we all know that we will look back one day and those little things will be the big things.

For me, I like to try to take this time to regroup and make a plan for the next year. Not in the sense of making an itinerary or list of tangible goals (because, let's be honest...New Years resolutions are iffy at best), but more of a brainstorm on ways to be a better person. What are the most important things to me in life right now? How do I change my behaviors and thought processes to make myself and those around me happier? I like to look back on the past year and think about all of the wonderful things that happened. But I also like to think back to all of the less than great things, and try to figure out how I can grow and learn from them. Maybe that's a bit cheesy, but that's pretty much par for the course with me :)

This year I have been incredibly lucky to meet a whole new group of people. I've made friends that I never would have met had I not moved to Florida. These are friends who became like family despite differences in religion, beliefs, culture, and political preferences. Needless to say, I feel like I have grown a lot this year as a person DESPITE the national and global political scene. There is something so beautifully challenging about crossing over that line of misunderstanding and being able to shake hands and come to place of mutual respect.

I'm also super thankful for my family this year (and every year)! It has been a new kind of challenge for us to separated by so many miles, and unfortunately one that will continue to push us for the next few years, but it has brought us closer together and made me even more appreciative of the unconditional love and support I always have from them <3

This year has also been a powerful year of growth for J and I as a couple. It can be challenging to keep the balance of growing and learning and changing as an individual while doing the same as a couple, but I have an amazing partner and there is no one I would rather be on this crazy journey with! I can't believe we are only 45 days out from our wedding eeeeeeeee!!!! I am so thankful to be gaining a whole new set of siblings and family members to add to our big, incredible tribe!

One of of the more difficult things that has happened this year was the passing of my sweet Ollie. Ollie was in my life from the very first day I came home as a newborn and she helped raise my sister and me alongside my parents for almost 28 years. I can honestly say that I am the woman I am today in great part to her, and I am so grateful for the time I got with her especially since coming back to NC this summer. I have so may hilarious, amazing, sweet memories of our time together over the years and I will treasure them forever <3

So, with a new month beginning tomorrow, let's all try to hold on to those feelings of thanksgiving and love and move into the holiday season with open hearts and minds. Happy Holidays Everyone!

"When the roots are deep, there is no need to fear the wind."

A New Chapter: NC to FL to TX

Ya'll. I made it to North Carolina and J made it to Texas. It has been a long couple of weeks getting ready for this move, but we are both settling in nicely and appreciate everyones help with the move both physically and emotionally!

I have never been good with change. I love the idea of it and crave it when things get too monotonous. But when it comes time to actually pick up and go, I dig in my heels. This move was no exception, and the added stress of not being able to move together didn't help. But after unpacking and getting into the swing of things again around here I've started to appreciate that we made the right choice.

Today was my first day back in the office. I even got to go show a house with my mom (a REAL HOUSE, not a trailer) PRAISE!! I am not made for the life of a housewife, at least not right now. The last three months have been so incredibly tough for me not having a career, and I can't believe how motivated I am to work 24/7 right now. At least now I can hit the ground running and make the most of my months here in Durham so that J and I can save money and I won't drive us both crazy with my bored antics! I'm definitely a lucky girl to be marrying someone who appreciates my mania and encourages me to do whatever makes me happy <3

There are already so many things going on...Wedding appointments are on the books as we only have 3 months until the big day, the Trinity Park House Tour is in a couple of weeks, the Durham housing market is not slowing down anytime soon, I just got my Durham Pure Barre Membership up and running, and this Saturday I am 'running' a 10k (if I die, Brittney is to blame). I can not wait to get back into a groove again. The moving process really throws off any chance of having a normal schedule, and I am a planner so that never works out well for anybody.

So, here's to the next chapter of our crazy, peripatetic life!

Stay tuned...

Picture that James texted me when we first started dating haha

Durham House: The Before Pics

After a few push backs we finally have a new departure date from Florida. The truck(s) will be here this weekend and then it's on to our next adventure. I have to admit that even though I'm still bummed about being apart, it will be very nice to finally get this move over with and not be in PCS limbo anymore.

Also, I am pretty darn thrilled that I will be getting to NC just in time for my favorite season of all! October is a great month in NC because the leaves finally start changing, the state fair comes to town, the farmers markets are in full swing, the nights are cool enough to leave the windows open, and its tailgate season. Aaaaand also, because halloween.

We already have our first couple of trips planned to visit each other and I'm feeling better about the situation now that we're almost in October. The rest of this year is going to fly by, and before we know it we'll be celebrating our wedding with everyone :) And then J will get his Wings of Gold, and we'll be off again!

Another positive about moving into a new place is that I get to feed my interior decorator addiction. I love moving into a new space and deciding where to put everything and how to make it feel homey. The Durham House (as we're calling it) is wonderful but tiny. It has old hardwood floors, a huge back deck, and great windows. But it is only 827 square feet! Which, coming from our Milton House, is going to be a huge change. Luckily for the most part it will only be me...and four animals...and J when he comes to visit. I'm actually really loving the idea of downsizing and getting rid of all the unnecessary junk.

So, now that it is officially official, here are some before pictures of our new Durham House...Stay tuned for the 'after' photos!!

kitchen area looking out to back deck and huge yard!

itty, bitty kitchen love

hallway from living room

ye olde bathroom

second bedroom which will be the office

master bedroom (bring your own cat)

living room!

I've got big plans for this baby, and a good old ikea trip in the making so check back to see what we've done to spruce this place up and make it our own <3

Love > Distance

We are officially down to the last few days in the Milton house. Our first home that we owned and made together. It is definitely a bittersweet moment. It will be sad the see the movers come through and pack everything up, take things off the walls, and move it all out of the house.

It will be even harder to know that J and I won't be in the same state for the next few months. Even though we weighed the pros and cons, talked about it for hours, and came to the same conclusion, I still find it incredibly hard to think about not seeing him every day.

Sometimes it feels like this is a lose-lose situation. Yes, moving to Durham will allow me to wedding plan on site, work a regular job, and be near family before our first big deployment (potentially overseas). But I will miss our little life together that we have created. I'll miss the wonderful friends we've made in flight school. And I also hate the thought of splitting up our family because Copper is literally going to mope around for weeks when he realizes J isn't coming with us. I might actually become the most hated human in all of dogdom for splitting them up. And yes, this is a legitimate concern and if you disagree you've never been around Copper at 9:00pm when he turns into gremlin dog.

Sometimes I hate that we have to make decisions like this and that we can't just have a normal life, whatever that even means. But then I think about it and realize how fortunate we are to have this life and everything that it affords us. Being a military family definitely has its downsides (potentially the biggest understatement of the year) but it is also a necessary sacrifice and an honor to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.

We only have a couple of months until the wedding and a huuuuge stack of things which need to be done that I have been putting off. I will definitely have my fair share of things to do while J finishes up his last chunk of flight school. Between fixing up our new house in Durham, getting the final wedding details done, working a full time real estate job, applying to grad programs (maybe??), and trying to get my yoga certification I'm hoping that time goes by quickly.

In the wise words of my sister in law Rebekkah, who is a Merchant Marine and is married to a Coastie, I am officially joining the ranks of the Professional Long Distance Wife club. And I have to say that I am very lucky to be marrying someone who respects and supports my dreams, and doesn't ever try to hold me back because of the restrictions of his job.

There is never going to be a solution or situation that is perfect for everyone. And a lot of times spouses of service members end up having to give up their life and goals in order to support their spouse. But I want people to understand that there are MANY ways to do that. There isn't just one path to be a supportive partner. And sometimes that path may break with conventional thought. Maybe being a stay at home mom/dad is the best decision for you. Maybe having two full time incomes is the way to go. Sometimes your jobs will have you working temporarily in two different places. There is not one solution. All any one of us can do is our best <3

We've Got Orders...

Today was a little rough. We finally got J's official orders and our move date has been scheduled for a couple of weeks from now. It's not like I didn't know this was coming but seeing it on paper made it so much more real. I felt like such a baby because I literally just looked at them and lost my shit and started crying like an insane person. Thankfully after a bit of consoling and teasing from J, I was able to lock it up. It just makes me so sad to think about being apart for the next few months, but we will get to see each other every few weeks and time will go quickly.

I think I've just been feeling a little bit overwhelmed because everything seems to happen all at once! On top of dealing with moving technicalities, I have been planning on doing my bachelorette this coming weekend for the last 6 months. Everything was organized, everyone was excited, and then out of nowhere a hurricane decides to pop up :( We are still on, but keeping a serious lookout on the weather channel these next couple of days. Thankfully everything looks like it will be passing north of us...but fingers crossed! (And pictures to come soon...)

I've also been in work limbo for the past month or so because we are in the process of PCS'ing so I've been feeling pretty discouraged. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can sit around and do nothing all day without feeling horribly guilty. The one thing I am looking forward to immensely in Durham, other than seeing friends and family, is having a full time career again!

Starting my real estate company down here was something I will always be proud to have done. I met amazing people, learned a lot about real estate in Florida, and expanded my skills as an agent and broker. But with that being said, I also have a whole new respect for brokers like my mother who run a company and manage to do their own business at the same time. And I can't wait to get back to being just a regular, old agent for a while!

I guess today was just one of those days, but I'm going to have a big cup of tea, put on my coziest sweats, and settle down with a good book and the pups. Everything will be fine and we will be stronger for it. Nobody said this life would be easy all the time, but taking a deep breath and counting your blessings helps. And wine. Wine helps too.