Happy New Year

Wow, what a whirlwind this holiday season has been! Celebrating Ezme's first Christmas back at home in NC was such a blessing, especially since she is growing and changing so much every day. Even if we ended up having to celebrate Christmas a day late because James and I were down for the count with a bug it was wonderful being with family and friends.

I have to admit though, that every time I go back home it is harder and harder to leave. Living overseas has been such a challenge for me, even more so this last year being a new mom. Not having family nearby for support during these post-partum months has really taken a toll on me, and even though we have wonderful friends here in Oki, it always feels like something is missing. I have so much respect for single parents, and parents who are stationed away from their families. It is NOT for the faint of heart!

But I have learned a lot this last year. I have grown so much as a person. 2019 has by far been the hardest, most intense year of my life. But it has also been the most wonderful! I have been humbled to my core this year. Becoming a mom to my sweet girl has broken me down and built me back up as a stronger, more fierce, more determined version of myself. I've had to experience a lot of this journey alone since James' job has him working such long hours, and there were definitely times where I felt like I wasn't doing anything right. But there has been so much beauty in these weak moments.

My feelings of self doubt, anxiety, and being overwhelmed have been met head on with a newly found trust in myself. The kind of trust that comes from holding on to control so tightly that you reach a point where all you can do is let go and rely solely on your intuition and heart. This is a lesson of motherhood that I seem to forget and relearn almost weekly, but slowly I am getting better at reaching this point of calm quicker and more gracefully.

Ultimately, my biggest lesson from this year has been learning that the only thing that truly matters is love. I know, I know, that sounds super dorky and cliche, but it's the truth. Your baby is going to go through regressions, they won't sleep when they are supposed, or eat when you want them to. They will cry and fall down and have really hard learning moments. The house will be a mess, laundry will pile up, and sometimes you and your spouse will only see each other for a few minutes a day. And all of this can build up and make you feel like you are doing something wrong. But babies are just little humans learning how to fit into this big world, and all we can do as mothers is love them and be present for them, messy house or no!

I've learned that no matter how many books or blogs I read, no matter how many sleep training methods I study up on, whether I do baby led weaning of go for purees, none of this matters ultimately. My baby is safe, happy, loved, and has people around her who love and care for her. That is enough. More than enough really.

Another huge lesson I have been repeatedly learning this year is that you can't pour from an empty cup. When you spend your days and nights pouring your heart and soul into another persons happiness, taking care of yourself takes a backseat. Maintaining a balance of self care and the care of others during motherhood is the biggest struggle. I think every mom feels this way and recognizes that keeping this balance is basically a full time job! Honestly, I thought that I would be WAY better at it. Especially coming from a background in yoga, I felt so confident that I would be able to remain grounded and balanced throughout this journey.

HAH! I went from doing yoga at least once a day, meditating, teaching, reading yoga texts, and living my yoga every single day to completely neglecting my home practice. This has been one of my biggest struggles this year, losing this huge piece of myself. But looking back, I realize that I didn't lose my practice, it just evolved with me. My asana and meditation practice basically went out the door, but my utilization and practice of service to others, and my heart practice has grown tenfold. Living your yoga doesn't necessarily mean rolling out your mat every day, it encompasses so much more than that. A lesson that I read about and knew from my studies, but had to experience first hand to truly understand.

That being said, I am finally feeling ready to let go of a few things that have been holding me back this year and move forward into 2020 with the intention of getting back into my practice in a more balanced way. I've always loved the ritual of making resolutions at the beginning of a new year and letting go of the things that no longer serve me but this year I am going a different route.

Instead of making resolutions for this year, I am choosing to set intentions instead. I will try my best to honor these intentions and follow through on them, but I will be forgiving and flexible with myself when challenges arise, because they definitely will! Overall, my biggest intention for 2020 is to strive to find balance in all things. 

So, with all of that being said, and because I love lists, here are my intentions for this new year:

*I will trust my intuition and heart, and be open to change
*I will strive for patience and empathy in all situations
*I will let go of unnecessary worry, fear, and anxiety
*I will focus more on my mental & physical health
*I will spend 10 minutes every day in quiet meditation
*I will do something I enjoy, for myself every day
*I will be more open and honest with myself and others
*I will read & write more for enjoyment
*I will remember to live in the moment and appreciate it
*I will spend less time on social media and more time being present
*I will continue to love and teach my sweet baby to the best of my ability
*I will be at peace with my decisions
*I will opt for a plant based diet
*I will try to live a cruelty free lifestyle


My hope for you all in this new year, sweet friends, is that you find fulfillment and peace in your lives! That you live in each moment fully and blissfully. That you manifest your dreams and appreciate them for the lessons they bring you. That you let go of the things holding you back and banish negativity that tries to come between you and your happiness. I hope that you strive for love over hate, peace over conflict, unity over division. May we all share with others when we have more than we need, and opt for inclusion and kindness instead of division and fear of the unknown.

Wishing you and yours light and love...

Happy New Year!!

Three Words

Y'all.
It is 2019.
In fact, it's been 2019 for almost an entire month.
My only resolutions so far consist of 3 words: BREATHE, GRATITUDE, & LOVE.

I want to remember to breathe through the tough times and find peace in knowing that every challenge is a lesson. To always be able to come back to center when I feel out of control or less than, especially with this new role of motherhood.

I want to to be grateful for each moment. To keep in mind how lucky we are to have this life, our health, our support system, and each other. I want to find tiny moments throughout the day where, even when things seem ridiculously hard, I can come back and list all of the beautiful things that I am grateful for.

And love. I want to spread more love and happiness and life into every situation I find myself in. I want to be a better version of myself and never leave a space untouched by positivity. I want to gossip less, judge less, and create an environment that I am proud for our daughter to grow up in.

With so much chaos and change and upheaval going on in the world and each of our lives individually, it is more important than ever to remember what is truly meaningful. How we treat others, our words, the way we handle that moment before we react, seeing the light in everyone, respecting our planet and all living things on it, standing up for what is right even (especially) when it is uncomfortable or hard, walking the walk.

Being human is complicated, but its also incredibly simple when you are able to come back to your center and rediscover what truly matters. Its easy to see how much our similarities outweigh our differences when we cut away all of the bullshit.

So, for this year, I am not focussing on things like; getting my pre-baby body back, or completing my 500 hr yoga course, or making a certain amount of income. I am simplifying, working from the inside out, and growing everything from a place of light and love.

I hope you all have had a wonderful start to this new year and I can't wait to see what the next turn around the sun has in store for all of us! Sending everyone lots of hugs from Okinawa!

A Hygge Home

Everything seems to slow down when it snows. The air is so quiet and still and pleasantly muffled. I love how immediately cozy the house becomes. As someone who is obsessed with creating cozy spaces and can't function in an environment that isn't warm and welcoming, I find snow days to be utterly perfect. It's the perfect time to pop in a movie, throw something in the crock pot, or just sit down and read a good book. There's just something about knowing that outside it is cold and wet and gross but inside everything is comfy and inviting.

This morning when I woke up the ground was covered with about 4 inches of fluffy snow, and more snow was still falling. I opened up the curtains so that I could watch the snow fall and the people walk by with their kids and dogs while I made a cup of tea and fed the dogs. It made me think of an article I read recently about the Scandinavian term 'hygge'.

Hygge translates closely to mean 'well-being' but there actually isn't a direct english word that embodies its full meaning. Hygge (pronounced "hoo-gah") can also translate to mean 'cozy' and represents finding happiness and comfort in every day things. This is definitely becoming a bandwagon trend but I am thrilled that there is finally a term that describes what I strive to achieve every day. Because hygge isn't just about faux fur throws, candles, and minimalist decor. It's also about simple gatherings of friends and family. It invokes a sense of togetherness, nesting, and simple pleasures like; having a casual dinner party, grilling out and drinking wine, and laughing and lounging with a close group. It's casual, comfortable, and cozy. I love it.

The best part about hygge is that you don't have to do anything fancy to achieve it, and there is no right or wrong way to do it because it is a feeling. The older I get the more I appreciate having friends over for a casual, easy going night instead of going out and partying. If everyone brings a bottle of wine, hunkers down on the couch, and plays board games and chats into the late hours that is perfect to me. So, in this new year, I plan on continuing my love affair with hygge and throwing many more dinner parties and game nights. How's that for a new years resolution?? More wine. More late night chats. More laughter and love. More friends and family.

Cheers :)

How do you incorporate the idea of hygge in your home?

Welcome 2017!!!

Welp, it's officially 2017! I feel like I say this every time I write a post but, I CANT BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY TIME FLIES!! So much has been going on with wedding planning, the holidays, work, and just crazy old life in general.

December was a complete blur. My mom and I have been spending a lot of time on the last few details before the wedding which IS NEXT WEEK. Wut. It's insane. I feel like J and I just got engaged and picked a date, and now the wedding is here and I am soooo excited. We are officially entering into 'wedding week'. And what would the week before our wedding be without Snowmageddon Part II. This weekend Durham is under a winter weather state of emergency and we are expecting to get up to 8 inches of snow (which is a HUGE deal for us southerners!) I'm so excited, I hope we get a ton of snow but that is manages to melt by like Wednesday of next week haha. After all, we can all remember what happened a couple of years ago when the OG Snowmageddon hit...

Okay, so the AT-AT walker wasn't really there but that is a legit car fire. We just can't handle our snow down here, but hopefully people will remain a little calmer this time since most of the snow wont hit until after 5 today. Will keep the (un)interested masses abreast of snow progress on snapchat as it occurs ;) You're welcome.

Christmas this year was spent in Port Angeles with my wonderful in-laws. I had never been to Washington state before and was absolutely blown away with the beauty of it. I've never seen so much green in my life! Even in areas where snow covered the ground all of the moss, and trees, and plants were still alive with breathtaking greenery. It was incredible. It was also the first time that all 8 of us kids were together, and I can honestly say that I have won the sibling in law lottery! It was such a wonderful time and our hosts (Kevan and Rebekkah) were incredibly brave and generous to put up with all of us for the holidays, especially since they have spent the last year renovating their beautiful victorian home. They also organized a photoshoot out at Lake Crescent and the pictures are so wonderful (special shout out to M. Krueger Photography). Here are a couple of my favorites:

Coming back after our Washington trip and ending up with a horrible flu was not the way I wanted to ring in the New Year but I'm relieved that I am finally over it and ready to go into our Wedding Week with full steam ahead, aaaand maybe do some midnight sledding tonight!! Unfortunately, J and I did not get to spend New Years together since he had to get back to TX for training and I had to get back to NC for last minute wedding stuff, but I got to go out with friends for a little while and spend some time with them. The night ended and I was unimpressed, especially since I was sober due to the amazing quantities of cough syrup i was taking. However I still managed to karate kick someone in the face and stay up till 3 so there's that. Helloooooo 2017! 

Now, I am going to make some soup and bake some cookies while I wait for this snow to begin!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

E