Memorial Day Thoughts

I woke up this morning after a wonderful couple of days at the lake with friends. We grilled out, went swimming, played games, and drank lots of beer. You know, what Americans do on Memorial Day weekend. But when I got out of bed I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried taking a shower, doing some yoga, walking the dogs, but nothing I did helped me shake this feeling of anxiety and sadness.

And then I remembered that I read an article before going to bed which was written by the spouse of a Marine who was killed in action. She wrote about how it affected her when people wished her a 'Happy Memorial Day'. About how she felt seeing all of the Facebook posts of people celebrating with BBQ, and fireworks, and water-sports. Today, holds a very different meaning for those who have lost a loved one who died for this country. A meaning that can be hard to grasp because of the divide between military and civilian life.

I guess this article hit me a little harder than I initially thought. But I am one of those Americans who has been guilty of not understanding what this day is really about. Since becoming a Marine wife I have grown to have a better understanding of some things that civilians never have to think about (whether I like it or not), and Memorial Day is one of those things.

Today is a day for ALL Americans to stop and appreciate how huge these seemingly small, heroic actions are that have shaped our country. How each and every man and woman who has died in service to our country has made it possible for us to have all of the everyday rights and freedoms that we are so fortunate to take advantage of. I didn't understand what today was about until I married into the Marine Corps because I was never around many service members.  But I am thankful for having this bittersweet understanding now because the older I get, the more I realize how unique and amazing our country is. Sure, we have ups and downs politically and socially, but we have people who are willing to die to protect our rights as Americans. We have people who are willing to continue putting their lives at risk so we can have the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedom of press, the freedom of assembly. Because of these men and women, every single American has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Memorial Day is just one day a year where everyone is expected to take the time to truly grasp and comprehend this monumental sacrifice. But the loved ones left behind when these fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, lose their lives for this country experience Memorial Day every single day of the year.

I think that we all need to do better, we need to be better in honor of this sacrifice. We need to be better Americans, better neighbors, better people. We need to realize that we all want the same things in life. We want to happy, we want our families to be safe, and we want to live our lives fully. We are all more similar than we are different. The Americans who put their lives on the line to make this possible deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated every day. And in my opinion the best way we can all honor that sacrifice is to be better people.

In times like these where it seems like the world (and more specifically, our country) is divided by words like 'us' and 'them', 'democrat' and 'republican', 'violence', 'hate crime' etc...we need to remember that there will always be people who put everything on hold to ensure that we have the opportunity to grow and become stronger, more united, and better as a country.

5 Things

As some of you know, I am participating in the Jenna Kutcher Instagram challenge which is geared towards streamlining your online presence and cultivating genuine participation within the blogging community. It has been an incredible experience to 'meet' and learn about so many different bloggers from all over the world and their brands! I think we are all aware that social media can be a double edged sword especially when it comes to appreciating and living in the real world in real time without having to whip out our phones every two seconds. This challenge encourages everyone to be their true, genuine, authentic self on social media instead of putting a filter on your life, and embrace others for doing the same. Sure, we all like looking at pretty pictures of tiny puppies in teacups surrounded by a sea of peonies, or a skinny tanned girl doing yoga on a beach in Hawaii while she drinks a gluten free piña colada and the sun sets majestically in the background. BUT! Where is the connection there? Where is the personality, and the depth, and the humanity for the love of god!?!?

I know that I follow a lot of those accounts on Instagram, but for the most part those accounts are what I call 'scrollers' because I look at them and scroll right on by without reading their post or clicking the links or caring what is happening at all. They are JUST pretty pictures. But my favorite accounts, the blogs I've been following for years, are the people who are so genuine in their online presence that you can't help but be like, 'yes! I have felt that same way!'. They are the bloggers who let you know that they are having a bad day because they had to deal with 5 diaper explosions while shopping in Target. They are the ones who are chugging wine while discussing what happened on the Bachelor. They are interested in traveling, learning, bettering our world, and also just going to the grocery store, finding a good deal on Lululemon, and encouraging others to be themselves too.

The disconnect our world faces right now between our online presence and real life is crazy! People feel more isolated and unhappy than ever and it's because we have gotten so far away from reality, or maybe we have just changed what 'reality' means. Regardless, I am trying to be more mindful of living in each moment and using my social media presence as a catalyst for expanding upon that real world experience.

So, now down to the nitty-gritty! Day 3 of the #jkinstachallenge was to pick five major facets of your self and share them on your account. This was tough because I feel like everyone has so many unique, and important things that make up who they are as a person. But when it comes down to it, these are the five, biggest parts of me that make me who I am...

1. Family: Obviously this was going to be number one because my family is amaaaazee! They have always been there for me through everything. Whether I was living around the corner or on the other side of the country. They have supported my harebrained ideas, loved me when I have failed, and encouraged me to be true to myself no matter what. My parents and sister have been my constant companions and without them I wouldn't be who I am today (sorry guys, if that sounds like an insult!)

2. My Marriage: It's always hard to imagine another person coming into your life and being on the same level as your immediate family. Meeting and marrying J has been such a learning curve. We initially met at an NCSU football tailgate during my sophomore year and his freshman year in college. And let me just say that if you told me then that we would end up married, I would have thought you were INSANE. Welp, turns out that I am the insane one because here we are! And I am so happy that we ran into each other that day, even if he doesn't remember! Our relationship has completely changed me on some levels and made me more steadfast to my roots on others. J and I are so different in some respects but so similar in others. We have learned how to work our partnership into every day life and continue to grow together every day. Entering into a marriage truly is a beautiful act of self sacrifice and love (I mean that in the best way!). I have had to learn to navigate the tricky waters of being a Marine wife while still GRACEFULLY holding true to my somewhat liberal roots. And I have had to embrace the lifestyle of moving every couple of years and being far away from everything that is familiar and important to me. Which leads me to...

3. Being a military spouse: this is a complicated one for me. Growing up in an area that is known for its acceptance, non-judgement, and down right artsy fartsy-ness (not a word, I know), I had never been around the culture of a military lifestyle. Durham NC is a small lake of blue in a big, red state if you know what I mean! I honestly thought everyone in our military had a crew cut, chewed tobacco, and was the complete opposite of me on the political spectrum. So you can imagine what a shock it was for me to be thrown into such a different environment, I'm not going to lie, I was down right scared. But, I was surprised at the immediate and genuine outpouring of help and friendship from this amazing group of people I had never met. You always hear about how the military is like a second family, but I did not even come to close to comprehending what that meant until I experienced it. This group of women is part of my soul now. Every station we go to, our military family grows. These women are some of the most compassionate, hilarious, REAL people I have ever met. Everyone is so different, and so strong in their own ways that I feel like a huge dum-dum for ever having thought of this group of people as being so one-dimensional (but that is what our 'bubbles' do to us). Anyway, I can proudly say that being a military spouse has made me a stronger, more independent, and self-confident person and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

4. Travel: As a homebody with a bad case of wanderlust I feel like I am constantly feeling this push-pull of wanting to nest and stay home, but also to travel and see the world and experience everything that is out there! I've been lucky to get to travel internationally several times in my life and my list of places to visit grows by the day. Each time I open a new book, or meet a new person, another place appears at the top of my list. I love the idea of being able to see the world but have a home-base to come back to. It's all about balance. Finding that perfect space between cultivating your home and growing as a person through seeing the world. And lastly (at least as far as the top 5 go)...

5. Yogaaaaa: This is a relatively new facet to my life, especially compared to some people who have been practicing yoga for decades! But it could also be labeled, spirituality on my list. Because you see, I did not understand what yoga actually was! I was one of those people who thought yoga was just asana, or the postures of yoga. I didn't realize that the postures were just a small part of what yoga actually is. I started my in-depth journey with yoga this past January in order to have a job when we move overseas this winter. I had no clue what I was getting into. It is like everything suddenly makes sense, like I was looking through a foggy window before and trying to figure out myself on a spiritual level but could never quite see through the glass. I have always identified as a spiritual person and loved learning about religion and cultural perception throughout school (anthro major, go figure) and have always felt that, if I'm being honest, all of the religions of the world are just different doors to the same room. So finding a spiritual practice that places everyone on an even playing field and is inclusive to all religions and sects and creeds felt like finding a little bit of light in what can be a very dark world :)

So, those are 5 of things that make me, me at my very core. What are your five things that make you, you?

Love and Light
Em

Winesday Wednesday Chadonnay Day Week Month?

Happy Wednesday friendsssssssaaahhh!
Okay, obviously I've had too much coffee and need to take it down a notch. But, today is (as the Skimm so eloquently put it) the Winesday Wednesday before International Wine Day!! Welllll technically tomorrow is International CHARDONNAY Day, not Wine Day in general but I've never said no to a good excuse to have a glass (or two or five) of vino. Personally, I am waiting patiently for June 10th which is National Rosé Day, not to be confused with INTERNATIONAL Rosé Day which is on August 14th. That was a lot of information but stick with me! Here is nice little chart to make things easier. You're welcome *high five*

Anyway, now that The Bachelorette is back I think it's safe to say that most of us celebrate weekly wine day on Monday's but for the past couple of weeks I have been getting together with my sister in law to watch The Handmaid's Tale and woooooo if you don't need a glass of wine to make it through that show! I seriously cry angry tears an average of two times per episode but it's so good! And at least they aren't tears of emotional distress (cough cough Grey's Anatomy cough).

Now, I am definitely not a sommelier by any means, like my ideal wine is from Trader Joe's and it has a pretty label and is five dollars but I know what I like and love trying new varieties. When J and I lived in Florida during flight school some of the other wives and I would get together for Wine and Cheese nights regularly and just take a few hours to wind down, commiserate, and have some girl time. Those nights were seriously the BEST!

All we needed was a few bottles of wine, some cheese and crackers, and some blankets and the night would be made. I'm definitely not advocating alcoholism here by any means! But there is something so nice about sharing some wine with your people and embracing the hygge of a night with friends :) We definitely never had a dull wine night and I always left the night with sore abs from laughing so hard!

My current favorite wine genré if you will, is of the Sparkling Rosé variety because I am basic and it is refreshing and delicious when it is muggy and hot out.

So, in the spirit of Winesday Wednesday, International Chardonnay Day, and because I want to knooow...what are your favorite wines??

Let me know!

Cheers, Em

Monday Motivation

Woke up this morning to the sound of my neighbors roof getting nailed on and a light rain falling. I'm not gonna lie, it was a rough morning as far as waking up goes! But after two cups of coffee, some sun salutations (with more than a couple of child's poses), I finally got up and moving.

This weekend was LOOOONG. It was month four of our yoga teacher training and we went through 4 full classes and an inversion module in addition to teaching circles, yoga anatomy, and assists/adjustments lessons. Not to mention my wonderful hubby surprised me by coming in to town on Saturday night and we all went out to celebrate my besties 28 birthday! (ughhhh we're getting old, but that's another issue altogether haha)

Needless to say I fell asleep at like 9:00pm last night and slept like a rock! But I still woke up tired and groggy. I think everything as far as getting ready for our move to Japan, keeping up with work, doing yoga teacher training, caring for four crazy fur-babies, finishing thank you notes (yikes, I swear they're coming y'all!), all of the weddings and social engagements we have, being a long-distance wife, and just remembering to breathe really caught up with me this weekend. I've been so gung-ho about getting everything done recently that I have barely stopped to take a minute to just breathe and relax, which may be why my meditation plan is all over the damn place.

Now don't get me wrong! I choose to do all of this and I loove it all but sometimes we need to take a step back and just chill. This is definitely something that I need to work on, but being able to recognize this feeling before having a meltdown is progress for me haha!

So, in order to get myself back on track today I decided to turn things down and just focus on the three R's that we use when sequencing a Moon Salutation: reset, reconnect, and refuel.

The first thing I did was take the dogs on a long walk and, don't freak out....I left my phone at home! Having that time to be outside in nature without any technology is really, really important. We're all so plugged in all the time, and I am especially guilty of this, that it can be pretty rare to go more than a few minutes without looking at a screen. We hear a buzz and immediately look at our phones, or sometimes (like Jess in New Girl) we have a 'phantom buzz' and literally nothing happened but we STILL check our phones!

After our walk I came home, took a long, hot shower and opened all of the windows. Then I rolled my yoga mat out and put on some music. Two of my favorite playlists to listen to when I want to focus inward are actually soundtracks from two of my favorite movies! Amelie and Pride & Prejudice (the one with Kiera Knightly...sorry Colin Firth). Today I went with Amelie, which is actually a beautiful soundtrack to do some yoga flow to, you should give it a listen :)

Then I took about an hour to do a little free flow, easy yoga stretching. Whatever feels good and healthy for your body, it doesn't even have to be an actual yoga asana, just get your body moving and focus on your breath. Even if you just lay down and do legs up the wall with a little pranayama, it will make a world of difference!

Afterwards, I was able to sit down with my planner and get organized for the week ahead. Now I know that TIME is the biggest scheduling factor that most of us struggle with when it comes to taking a few moments for ourselves, but it is SO important to take care of yourself mentally and physically! We should all strive to set aside a few minutes everyday for ourselves to refocus.

I was listening to the most recent podcast by Rachel Brathen (known as Yoga Girl) the other day and she was giving her list of tips and tricks to get started, or maintain, a regular yoga practice and her number one tip was: roll out your mat. This simple act will ensure that you spend a little quality time on your mat. Even if all you do is lay there and breathe, that is totally fine!

Maybe yoga isn't your thing! Maybe reading a book and drinking a hot cup of tea relaxes you :) Or going for a run! Whatever brings you peace and helps you reset, refuel, and reconnect you mind, body and soul is exactly what you should make time to do!

So, keep breathing, make time for yourself, and make sure you have some wine in the fridge because tonight is the first night of the Bachelorette.

Cheers!
Em

Living with Intention

We are swinging right through Spring and into Summer here in NC! The days are starting to get hot and muggy and long, and everything is green and full of life. I love this time of year in Durham and I'm so glad I get to spend the next few months here before our big move this winter.

During the summer months when the American Dance Festival is going on you can hear the rehearsals going on across the street at Duke! The cicadas are picking up their chorus and fireflies are everywhere. You can hear people walking their dogs, playing outside, grilling out, and laughing with friends and family until late in the evenings. On Friday nights you can hear the fireworks from the Bulls Games and the smell of charcoal and freshly cut grass is always in the air. These are the sounds and smells of my childhood, and it makes me so nostalgic to experience them again after being gone for the last two years :)

Even though it's starting to get too hot to leave the windows open, I love to throw them wide at night so I can hear the crickets chirping as I fall asleep and the birds singing when I wake up. Every morning I take my mat out onto the back deck and get in some morning asana flow while my coffee is brewing and the dogs are running around the yard. Everything seems to move slower in the summer. I love that. The feeling of waking up early, but slow, so you have time to start your day gently and with intention.

I have been thinking about intention a lot recently. I feel like I see so many people going through life every day full of worry and anxiety and chaos. And of course, I am guilty of that regularly, but I've noticed that my yoga practice has made me hyper-aware of this to the point where I am able to catch myself getting kinetic and am then able to take a breath and reset my intention. Naturally there are some big things in life that cause stress; a big project at work, a test in your hardest class, money problems, etc. But, there are also a ton of little, insignificant things that cause just as much anxiety, and when it comes down to it worrying about ANY of these things, big or small, is not going to solve anything.

I heard a saying once that, 'if you worry about things before they happen, you suffer twice'. To people who know me, it's going to sound like I'm being extremely hypocritical right now because I am seriously one of the biggest worry-warts alive! But I think that is why I am so aware of it, because I spend so much of my own time trying to quell my anxiety and stress that I have in my life (and to a certain extent exacerbate when I don't catch myself in time!)

One of the ways that I have started trying to live with more intention is by taking a step back, following my breath, and giving myself a minute to process things when I get overwhelmed or feel myself starting to experience negative emotions. This is harder some times and easier other times but the result is always the same: I walk away feeling more at peace with things, and I am able to move forward in a more productive and positive way.

It can also help to reflect at the end of your day! I recently had dinner with my family and I was telling them about a family I used to nanny for and how every night at dinner they would go around the table and each person would say what their "rose" and "thorn" of the day was. Your "rose" being the best part of your day, and the "thorn" being the worst. We decided to do it ourselves and it was so wonderful to hear the highs and lows of each others day and talk about things on a different level. It can be so easy to let little, annoying incidents effect the outcome of our days but if we take the time to appreciate the little things and focus our intention on being grateful for those things we can be so much happier and peaceful.

Smile at a stranger. Hold a door for someone. Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while. Go for a walk outside without your phone. Go to the gym. Start a book you've been wanting to read. Have a glass of wine on your deck and look at the stars. The list in endless!! Pick one thing to do each day that will bring you joy, and do it with intention!

Find the things that bring you joy and DO THEM! We are only here for a short amount of time and every second should be filled with love and intention and gratitude (easier said than done, but big goals build character and every little step in the right direction makes a huge difference!)

What are some things you can do to start living with more intention?

Em