9/20/16

Love > Distance




We are officially down to the last few days in the Milton house. Our first home that we owned and made together. It is definitely a bittersweet moment. It will be sad the see the movers come through and pack everything up, take things off the walls, and move it all out of the house.

It will be even harder to know that J and I won't be in the same state for the next few months. Even though we weighed the pros and cons, talked about it for hours, and came to the same conclusion, I still find it incredibly hard to think about not seeing him every day.

Sometimes it feels like this is a lose-lose situation. Yes, moving to Durham will allow me to wedding plan on site, work a regular job, and be near family before our first big deployment (potentially overseas). But I will miss our little life together that we have created. I'll miss the wonderful friends we've made in flight school. And I also hate the thought of splitting up our family because Copper is literally going to mope around for weeks when he realizes J isn't coming with us. I might actually become the most hated human in all of dogdom for splitting them up. And yes, this is a legitimate concern and if you disagree you've never been around Copper at 9:00pm when he turns into gremlin dog.

Sometimes I hate that we have to make decisions like this and that we can't just have a normal life, whatever that even means. But then I think about it and realize how fortunate we are to have this life and everything that it affords us. Being a military family definitely has its downsides (potentially the biggest understatement of the year) but it is also a necessary sacrifice and an honor to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.

We only have a couple of months until the wedding and a huuuuge stack of things which need to be done that I have been putting off. I will definitely have my fair share of things to do while J finishes up his last chunk of flight school. Between fixing up our new house in Durham, getting the final wedding details done, working a full time real estate job, applying to grad programs (maybe??), and trying to get my yoga certification I'm hoping that time goes by quickly.

In the wise words of my sister in law Rebekkah, who is a Merchant Marine and is married to a Coastie, I am officially joining the ranks of the Professional Long Distance Wife club. And I have to say that I am very lucky to be marrying someone who respects and supports my dreams, and doesn't ever try to hold me back because of the restrictions of his job.

There is never going to be a solution or situation that is perfect for everyone. And a lot of times spouses of service members end up having to give up their life and goals in order to support their spouse. But I want people to understand that there are MANY ways to do that. There isn't just one path to be a supportive partner. And sometimes that path may break with conventional thought. Maybe being a stay at home mom/dad is the best decision for you. Maybe having two full time incomes is the way to go. Sometimes your jobs will have you working temporarily in two different places. There is not one solution. All any one of us can do is our best <3








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