Reunited: Weekend Wishes

We are finally over our first deployment hump! Picking J up and bringing him home was honestly one of the best feelings ever. Even though this one was only a few months long, it was very weird being away from him and not being able to communicate freely. Not that we haven't had a decent bit of practice in our relationship with being long distance. The limited communication however, really made things much harder.

But now that he is back, just in time for all of the fun holidays, I am ready to fully embrace the season and enjoy our time together. If there's one thing deployment teaches you, it is that the little things truly are the "big things" when you look at the grand scheme of your life. Being able to cook dinner together after going to the gym, watching Netflix, taking day trips to the beach on the weekend, even just walking the dogs together at night. These are the little moments that matter.

I feel so much gratitude for everything in our life right now, and many of those things are just that, THINGS. But the living things, the people and furry friends in our lives, are the things that don't change despite the ups and downs. Surrounding yourself with a good tribe of people who support you, and root for your success make any challenge possible.

The wonderful group of women in this squadron made my first deployment experience absolutely great. While nothing compares to having your partner home, being surrounded by kind, compassionate, hilarious, intelligent people (who are in the same boat) definitely takes the edge off! Facetime is also a wonderful thing! Getting to talk to my family back home each day and update them on everything made this time so much easier <3

It was especially nice to have that support as a first time mom to be. On top of the emotional roller coaster that deployments cause on their own, having to ride the pregnancy crazy train added a whole separate level of angst to this experience (0/10 do not recommend). But being around other people who have gone through the same thing or who were currently going through the same situation almost completely eliminated that sense of loneliness. I am so thankful for all of the Tiger spouses!

Now that J is back, we are enjoying the last few months of that no-kid life! Doing a little bit of last minute traveling, enjoying the peace and quiet, and sleeping late on weekends. Taking advantage of the freedom that is allowed us right now and getting ready for our little girl to make her way earth-side in the new year. J finally got to feel her kick and see her wiggling around which was fun, because its definitely hard to explain via email! Maybe now that he is back we will start getting the nursery organized, but knowing us, we will wait until the last minute on that one...oh well!

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Remember to take a little bit of extra time to appreciate the special people in your life! Give them an extra hug or just take the time to really be in the moment with them, intentionally.

Happy Saturday from Oki!
Em

A Little Dash Of Santosha

This morning I woke up and decided that, instead of running around like crazy person trying to get my to -do list of the day done, I was going to take a few minutes to ask myself what I needed right now. You know, really ask, what does my mind, body, and spirit need today in order to feel fulfilled and complete? The yoga principle of Santosha (or contentment) came to mind. Santosha isn't about being 110% ecstatically enthused and PERFECTLY happy with every single thing. It's much more simple and pure than all that. Santosha is simply being satisfied and at peace with where you are right now. It's actually an incredibly beautiful concept when you think about it. Sometimes it can feel like we, as humans, are always striving and reaching and fighting against something to achieve something else. And while goals and energy and movement are great things, we are generally terrible about balancing that super Yang energy with the more subtle Yin energies!

We are all guilty of having a day off or taking a holiday and having that sneaking suspicion that we are forgetting something, or that we should be DOING something. We feel guilty for sitting down and reading a book when we could be doing something 'productive'. Its really hard to get out of that mindset! Our culture tells us that slowing down and taking this time is lazy. But how is self care, contentment, and mindfulness lazy?

There does seem to be a shift culturally towards being more mindful and grateful, but there always seems to be a catch. A product to buy to make it possible, a book claiming to have all of the answers. Or a class you can take to learn how to be a better person. *insert eye roll here* Talk about over complicating one of the simplest, cheapest, most internal processes a person can experience! It might sound cheesy but everything you need to practice santosha is within you already, literally. In fact, if you are adding all of these extra things into the equation, you're kind of defeating the purpose.

It is as simple as taking a few minutes right when you wake up, before you get out of bed, maybe even before you open your eyes, and thinking of a few things you are grateful for right now. What things in your life are you truly and utterly thankful for? And then ask yourself, what is one thing that I could do today that would bring me contentment? Maybe you've been wanting to go play in your garden for an hour all week, or maybe you would love to sit on the porch and have a hot cup of coffee before work! Ask yourself these questions without judgement or guilt or anxiety. And then make the time to do it! It's that simple :)

When I asked myself what would make my heart truly content today, it said to leave my errands for tomorrow, and take the day to create. I wanted to spend my day baking, reading, writing, listening to  music, and doing yoga. So I did.

I realize how lucky I am to be able to take a whole day to observe santosha in such an extreme way. Being in Okinawa, I have the privilege of a very easy work schedule. I teach english online at night, and a few yoga classes during the week. I have much more free time than most and it's taken me a long time to get used to the idea and not feel guilty about it. That guilt has honestly probably caused me to under-appreciate this time and create busy work for myself to do so I feel more useful (whatever that means). It's a perfect example of how we as humans, identify our self worth with how busy we are. But being busy does not always equate with being productive or smart or worthwhile, and I think we all need to take a second look at how we are spending our time.

I would love for everyone to take more time to work on relationships, with others and ourselves personally. To ask the questions like, how can I make this world a better place? How can I be more kind? How can I feel more complete and happy with what I already have? Do I need all of these things in my house or does someone else need them more?

If we all took the time to observe santosha (contentment) every day, I think we would realize that there are a whole lot of extra, noisy, distracting things that we surround ourselves with but don't really need. In fact, we probably need the exact opposite.

So, take a deep breath, let go of all of that useless guilt and kinetic energy (just for a moment) and ask yourself what you truly need to be content and at peace with yourself, right now.

<3 Em

Adjust Your Sails

It's October in Okinawa. That means we are coming up on our one year Oki-versary! It's hard to believe we have been here for almost a whole year already. The last few weeks have been a little crazy with all of the typhoons, the deployment, and work, so I am super thankful for my favorite season to finally be here. Autumn has always been a time for slowing down and turning inwards for me. The weather gets colder and everything becomes much more focused on things like; rest, introspection, hygge, and cultivating a deeper relationship with the simple quotidian things in life.

Honestly, this shift couldn't come at a better time for me. Being 6 months pregnant, I am more than ready to start slowing down and and taking more time each day to do some self care and introspection. It hasn't been easy doing the majority of this pregnancy alone while J is deployed, and I have tried to keep myself so busy that I'm honestly exhausted from all of the distractions. I want to spend more time reading, and meditating, and listening to good podcasts, TAKING a yoga class instead of just teaching them! The first trimester was very difficult for me, my energy level was way down, I was constantly nauseous, and we were doing a lot of traveling at the time so I was basically a walking zombie. Then when the second trimester hit, I felt so much better that I did a complete 180 and decided to just do ALL OF THE THINGS! Looking back, neither one of these has that lovely element of balance that one hopes to achieve in life!

But, I think I'm finally starting to get it. The learning curve for understanding what your body and mind need during pregnancy is steep. As someone who prides herself on knowing herself very well, I've been surprisingly obtuse at times during my pregnancy. Trying to push through when I know I should rest, or taking a nap because I was sad J wasn't here when I KNEW that going to yoga would make me feel better. I've spent a lot of time the last few months feeling like I should be doing things a certain way, and judging myself for not being up to my normal standards. But, that is so ridiculous!

So, it may have taken me a good six months, but here we are at the crossroads. I think I can finally understand and accept that these changes that are happening are not ultimately changing me or the things that are important to me. I just need to put my Yin Yoga training into practice and soften myself to roll with the tides, not against them. With this new season comes a new outlook. I will strive to be patient and in tune with my needs, and less focused on comparing myself to how I was before becoming pregnant. I will make time to relax, and read, and practice my daily sadhana. I will understand that it is okay to slow down. After all, come February, there won't be much time for relaxing anymore...

The Shortest Month

February has blown by just as quickly as I thought it would. I turned 29 this month which is absurd because I still feel like I'm about 19...until I try to go on a bender and then it quickly becomes clear to me that I'm waaaay closer to 30 than 20! It is so surreal how quickly time flies.

When I think back to college and where I thought I'd be in my life right now, its honestly shocking to me how things turned out. I definitely did not think I would be married to a Marine. Or living in Japan. Or working as a yoga instructor instead of a Realtor! So many things have happened that I didn't expect. It's funny how life works isn't it?

And the craziest thing of all is looking back and realizing how many tiny, quotidian instances and decisions lead to this very moment! The person you are today has been a process, millions of thoughts and emotions turned into actions and words. An infinite number of choices could have been made, but each specific one you CHOSE has lead you to now. 

It's so incredible to me how interwoven our lives are, and how easily things could have been completely different (The Chaos Theory and all that). I just feel so incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by such wonderful role models my whole life. I know for a fact that I would not be the person I am today if it hadn't been for my parents, family, friends, even chance encounters with strangers. 

I feel like as I get older, I am more easily able to step outside of myself and try to see the bigger picture. I've learned some pretty great life lessons in my 29 years and I'm definitely not claiming to know it all but here are just a few things that I wish I could tell my 19 year old self...

Always, always be kind, to everyone, even if you don't feel like it.

Try to get to know people who are different from you, you'll be better for it.

Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words.

Don't care so much about what other people think.

Don't ever let your happiness depend on someone else.

Above all always be truthful and genuine, especially to yourself.

You don't have to say everything you think out loud. 

It's okay to say 'no'. 

It is sometimes better to ask for forgiveness, than for permission. 

Start building your credit history!

You will never regret going out of your way to help another.

Focus more on the NOW.

Keep spending time with your family, you wont regret it!

Never settle for something just because it is easy.

It is okay to be alone. In fact your relationship with yourself is the most important.

One day the little things will be the big things, and the big things will be the little things.

Try to meditate for a little while every day. 

Keep reading everything you can get your hands on.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. (-E.R)

Always speak out when you witness injustices, even if its uncomfortable. 

It's okay to FEEL sad or angry or upset, but remember that YOU are not your emotions. 

Your thoughts become your words and deeds.

There are so many things that I have learned about myself and life in the last 10 years. I have made a lot of mistakes, done my fair share of stupid things, and eaten my words more than once, but ultimately I think it all worked out okay! 

What do you wish you could tell your younger self? 

Em

P.S 

Here is my Pinterest board for motivational words of wisdom!

https://www.pinterest.com/ememismeme/more-than-words/

January 2018 Update

It's already the end of January and the theme of this month for me has been: creating routine. It's always difficult after one of these big PCS moves to orient yourself and find a place in your new home. And honestly this overseas move has been much like the others, just with the added factors of being in a foreign country and not being close to family and friends. Overall though, the process has been much the same.

The first couple of months are all about getting your physical place, your home, situated. It's about J getting settled into his new squadron, finding the nearest grocery store, learning how to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road, meeting new friends, finding your new favorite restaurants, you know finding your place literally.

But as we came into the new year, I found myself struggling to find space mentally. The holidays were over, we were done settling in physically, and now all of the sudden it's time to make space mentally and realize that this is going to be our home for the next few years. Since J and I started dating, we haven't lived in one place for more than a year, so it's difficult for me to get my head around actually living in one place for 3-4 years. AND of course it doesn't help that our new place is on the exact opposite side of the world from home.

Home. A word I've been struggling to redefine since this move. A word that means so much more than a building, or a city. Home is where your people are. It's where your heart is. But what do you do when your heart is in a bunch of different places? Obviously my heart is with my hubby and our little family unit here in Japan. But pieces are also with my family and friends back in the states.

Creating space mentally to accept and thrive in this new place and taking the time to create a feeling of home internally is the next step. The easy part is done. Our dishes and linens are put away. The boxes are unpacked, broken down and thrown out (on the porch, but still). I no longer have to use google maps to get everywhere. We have a favorite ramen joint, and I have a yoga class I like to go to. Now, it's time to take that routine and use it to thrive.

February is going to be a month of growth. If January's theme was Routine, the foundation of our life here, then February will be about putting up some walls (in a good way!) I want to spend time this coming month really creating a life that we love out of this routine. It's been quite rainy and cold here for the last couple of weeks but I'm hoping that this next month will begin to warm up so I can get outside and do some more exploring and traveling.

Here's to Spring in Okinawa!