Adjust Your Sails

It's October in Okinawa. That means we are coming up on our one year Oki-versary! It's hard to believe we have been here for almost a whole year already. The last few weeks have been a little crazy with all of the typhoons, the deployment, and work, so I am super thankful for my favorite season to finally be here. Autumn has always been a time for slowing down and turning inwards for me. The weather gets colder and everything becomes much more focused on things like; rest, introspection, hygge, and cultivating a deeper relationship with the simple quotidian things in life.

Honestly, this shift couldn't come at a better time for me. Being 6 months pregnant, I am more than ready to start slowing down and and taking more time each day to do some self care and introspection. It hasn't been easy doing the majority of this pregnancy alone while J is deployed, and I have tried to keep myself so busy that I'm honestly exhausted from all of the distractions. I want to spend more time reading, and meditating, and listening to good podcasts, TAKING a yoga class instead of just teaching them! The first trimester was very difficult for me, my energy level was way down, I was constantly nauseous, and we were doing a lot of traveling at the time so I was basically a walking zombie. Then when the second trimester hit, I felt so much better that I did a complete 180 and decided to just do ALL OF THE THINGS! Looking back, neither one of these has that lovely element of balance that one hopes to achieve in life!

But, I think I'm finally starting to get it. The learning curve for understanding what your body and mind need during pregnancy is steep. As someone who prides herself on knowing herself very well, I've been surprisingly obtuse at times during my pregnancy. Trying to push through when I know I should rest, or taking a nap because I was sad J wasn't here when I KNEW that going to yoga would make me feel better. I've spent a lot of time the last few months feeling like I should be doing things a certain way, and judging myself for not being up to my normal standards. But, that is so ridiculous!

So, it may have taken me a good six months, but here we are at the crossroads. I think I can finally understand and accept that these changes that are happening are not ultimately changing me or the things that are important to me. I just need to put my Yin Yoga training into practice and soften myself to roll with the tides, not against them. With this new season comes a new outlook. I will strive to be patient and in tune with my needs, and less focused on comparing myself to how I was before becoming pregnant. I will make time to relax, and read, and practice my daily sadhana. I will understand that it is okay to slow down. After all, come February, there won't be much time for relaxing anymore...