That is how my slow and ever-growing knowledge of Marine Corps life began. To this day I still have to google things regularly; acronyms, student aviator slang, basic military terms...you name it. I do A LOT of nodding and smiling when we hang out with the other aviators and their families. And a lot of googling when we get home!
It's a very delicate balance because it is hard for us to understand what they are going through as military personnel, and its hard for them to understand our perspectives as civilians. Things can get messy very quickly when you aren't careful to remember how different these two converged paths are.
There are also a lot of similarities though. The sense of pride in what our partners are doing is contagious. I am so thankful for the men and women who defend our country and after becoming friends with so many of them and seeing them for the people they truly are on a personal level, I am even more impressed with them.
The strength that you must have during the less than normal situations that arise in this line of work is another thing that both partners must possess (to different degrees, and in different ways, of course). It has taken strength that I didn't even know I had to leave everything behind and move down here with J, especially as an un-married military girlfriend. The stigma surrounding girlfriends in the military is unbearable at times. Some people treat you like you are a second class person, and can almost act like they are sorry for you. You also have to accept that there are a bunch of hoops you have to jump through just to do normal things like get on base, be your partners emergency contact, and even go to certain functions.
I definitely didn't know how difficult this journey would be when we started it. But I have found myself in the process, or at least a part of me that I didn't know was there. I've learned that it's okay to not know exactly what is going to happen in the future. That being alone can be a good thing sometimes, especially since I really do believe that if you aren't happy with yourself, you will not be happy with anyone else either. I've learned that its okay to feel lonely or sad, but that sometimes you just have to pull yourself up and make the best of a less than awesome situation. I've learned how to make new friends quickly, even though I miss my old ones immensely, and at first I couldn't bare the thought of having to start over without knowing anyone.
I've RE-learned that family is everything, whether that family is by blood or not, and that taking care of the people you love is the most important thing in life because no matter WHERE you are, those relationships are what carry you through the hard times and make the wonderful times the best.
I started writing this post because tonight is one of the nights when J has to be at work super early so he is staying with his sister who lives closer to base. I was suddenly very aware of how alone I am down here in Florida. The house was too quite without the sounds of him blowing up video game aliens (or whatever) and I couldn't seem to remember what I DO at night! Isn't that weird? I mean, who does anything at night? We watch TV, hang out on our computers, read books. None of these things require J to be home with me, but it just felt scary and lonely for a minute. Then I realized that I lived alone before we moved in together so I was being ridiculous. But this moment also led me to remember that there will be times when he is gone, like, for a REALLY, REALLY long time, and I will have to be okay with being alone, potentially in another country.
This is one of the things that is not a normal relationship problem, but it's a challenge that I chose by default when I chose J. I have to remind myself that I am not alone in this, and that I am surrounded by very wonderful people to who DO understand what its like being with someone in the military. I also have wonderful friends back home who have NO CLUE what is happening but are so accepting and sweet and wonderful to me as I navigate this life that I just want to squeeze them all to death!
The point is, maybe this isn't the easiest or the simplest path to have chosen, but I chose it. And it is my path, wiggles, and hills, and loop-de-loops and all! And I know that I can rest easy knowing that I am surrounded, near and far, by an amazing support group that will be there, come what may :) and that will make all the difference!
Now, I am going to watch Netflix, snuggle with my dogs, and play on Pinterest while having a large glass of wine like any self-respecting twenty six year old should be doing on a random Tuesday night.
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